Behis'si thi ke mere zabt ka andaaz tha yeh
Muztarib tha bhi agar, mein kabhi barham tou na tha
I wish I could've said this sher for myself but well, that's way out of question. In my case, barhami depends exponentially on the iztiraab. This couplet, nevertheless, opened a new door for me. Not a door that unveils the secrets of the lost city of Atlantis or some X-files from A-51 or the location of Holy Grail, for that matter. No. Nothing as such. What lies behind this door is a fact that's so obvious that it never grasped my attention, until now.
Anyhow, yesterday S. was listening to Maroon 5's "She will be loved". (Hayye. I've always loved this song) I was lying beside her in ami's room and, something struck me about this song for the first time. I suddenly wished to find someone who'd catch me every time I fall. Yes, every time. I wished that every time I fall, someone would shake his/her head in disapproval and yet, reach out for my hand and pick me up. I won't mind a little scolding either. *insert a wide and a very dheet smile here* I'll persist on falling, though.
I don't want to change. I know I am not good. I am so so so bad. I know. People have said this to me enough times to make me believe this. Which again, by the way, brings me to this empty wrapper of Dove's Promises that is lying in front of me. I have no idea which of the two monsters ate it and left the wrapper here but had I been superstitious I would have taken this as an omen of some kind. *smiles* You want to know what the message on its inside says? It says, Never let others' opinion change the way you feel about yourself. Uhh...But it's a little too late already. I have changed a lot; for the ones I love. However, somehow I'm still work-in-progress.
Umm... I have a lot to say. The rants don't end here. Oh no, they don't! *chuckles*
6 comments:
Should I call it being desperate for a hand to hold Or just a mere thought and you will wait for the HAND and for now you are happy with Family and ALLAH =)
Cheers :)
I love that song too. sighs.
liked the post..may be we all need sum one to catch us when we fall or just to say we still there in anycase..its so imp thing u mentioned 'never let others change the way u feel abut urself'..v tough thing to do..u hve gud taste of urdu literature, as usual like the shairi :)
@ salman: It's an utterly dainty 'thought' and, a little far-fetched as well. Uhh... so for the time being I am 'happy with my family and Allah', as you put it. :)
@ Sidra: :) Sighs back.
@ majworld: Yes, all of us need people who'll catch us if we fall (or... may be fall along with us, to do the least, lol).
Thank you.
@ salman: The website I was talking about is: www.ca.com.pk but unfortunately he has removed P1 notes for some reason. :/ I'm assuming he might upload them in a month or two. Oh and I just saw, he has some practice questions for F9 as well. See if it helps you in any way.
@ Ann, Glad to see you already have made up your mind and has got hold of Family and ALLAH's hand. GOD BLESS YOU/
PS. Thanks very much yaar. P1 k liye Kit hi karloonga, kaafi hay. F9 is phir bhi something very much unexpectable. So I would need alot practice for that.
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