Distractions

Dear Gruph,

I am sorry. I called you not because I missed you. Neither because I wanted to talk to you. Nor because I wanted to listen to you. I was not interested in what has been going on in your life, or what hasn't. As far as I am concerned, the absence of your calls and messages is adequate an indicator to imply everything is fine on your side.

I only called you up because... I wanted you to speak... so that your voice would subdue the hushed noises in my head. The haunting whispers, I wanted to shut them out, and I guess I needed your help with that.

My silence and solitude just happened to be aggravating the situation exponentially. I needed to distract my self, and you were an apt distraction, my friend.

I needed someone who'd talk and go on talking, without noticing my silence.

I am very sorry, because I feel guilty about it. I feel bad. But, I needed you, even if very ignobly.

Love,

Ann.

Not-so-dear Migraine

Dear Migraine,

I can't thank you enough for ruining my entire day today. I realise you love me so very much and hence, you feel obliged to pay me a visit from time to time. I cannot explain to thee how I highly appreciated your prolonged absence was but, you don't seem to appreciate my appreciation, now do you?

I want to sing a song for you, for all the trouble you went through to reach me. *sings* Ohh! I just died in your arms tonight today.... It must've been something you said...

Let me thank you for making me feel that death was an easier option. Let me also tell you, how I despise the pathetic auras that you send me as harbingers of your arrival. Thank you for forcing tears out of my eyes while I was at work. I am sure you have absolutely no idea how embarrassed I felt trying to hide my tears. 

I can still feel you lurking around. I wish you would leave now and for good. I hate you very much and never wish to see you again. However, I know you are one hell of a stalker, aren't you? 

Hmph.

Sick of you,

Ann.

Wishes, letters and more...

I hated you for the initial ten years of my life. Then, I loved you for the next ten. I guess it's time to hate you again- for another ten years. *smirks* I see the change has already set in. Whoever said human feelings cannot follow a pattern. There is a pattern, don't you see? It is cyclical. Ha.


I think I should abstain from such bakwaas for tonight, at least.

It's Chand Raat. It's going to be Eid tomorrow. Yayee! Guess what, I received a text from an unknown number that read, "Happy moon night =P". Okay, whatever, lol.

Sighs. I am missing so many people. *frowns* Uh, okay no, not many, I am missing only a couple of people. I think I'll write some imaginary letters to them. Umm... Here they go.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Dear papa jani,

I miss you. I wish you were here.  I love it when you pick up the phone and I say, "Asalamalaikum papa jaaani" and you reply with a cheery, "Walekumsalam papa jaani". Pa, I love you. So very much. Tsk. Tsk. Have I ever told you that you are my only shield against ami's ghussa. *winks* Bet you never knew that. Oh God! I am missing you so much. I wish I could teleport to you and give you a very tight hug.

May my thoughts find you in the best of health. All of us are going to miss you on Eid. And again, before I end my letter, I love you. I always will.

Yours,

Ann.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Dear Bj,

I miss you, you fool. Had you been here, we'd be out roaming on the streets in the bazaars. As of now, I am reading The Lost Symbol. Imagine that. I am reading a book on chaand raat. However. S. and ZB. still have plans with BJ, so they will be going out once they come here. But, not me. I shall get back to reading.  

I want to hug you. It's been ages since I did that. And after hugging you, I'd really appreciate hitting you hard for making me miss you so much. That'll be all for you. Will be calling you in a while.

Yours,

Maassi.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

As for the rest of you, who are still somehow bearing with my goofiness- Chaand Raat Mubarak to all of you. May tomorrow's morning bring you lots of joy. While some of you must be having your Eid today, so Eid Mubarak!! *smiles*

Goodnight.

Dear Bj

I miss you Bj. You pa'ghal! I miss you so much. Come back. Speaking on the stupid phone is not enough. I want to see you Bj. It has been so long. I miss those fights that we used to have. I miss beating you up. I miss running after you. I miss screaming at you, banging your doors. I miss how angry you used to make me. Remember... the last time you came, and you annoyed me and I was not talking to you and crying. You came to me to cheer me up. It took you so long to make me smile. I am crying again Bj, this time because I miss you. Don't you miss me? You idiot. Come back. Hey when you got married, we had so much fun remember. Your wife's stupid. I am sorry but she is. I was watching the old albums. And now I am weeping. All because of you! Pa'ghal! Sighs.

I miss you.

Love,

Your maasi.

A Letter

Dear xyz,

This is to inform you that it might seem as if I am falling apart but there is a possibility- and not so remote, that this is not the case.

Another thing that I am eager to bring to your notice is that yes, I have issues to deal with but mind you, love is the least of all my problems. To tell you the truth, I doubt if it is at all one of my problems, to begin with.

Therefore, kindly do not get any ideas. Do not strain your brain. There is only a little left of it anyways.

That is going to be all for now.

Sincerely,

Ann.

Dear Sidra

Sighs. I have missed blogging yaar. It's just that exams are round the corner- kya karooon?! =( I am having "the-time-of-my-life" (in all the wrong ways, that is).  I am afraid if I write, I will write about how Gray, Owen and Adams hold that Pristine Capitalists are people who do not give a damn about other people. The only thing that seems to interest them is how to make big bucks. And I cannot begin to elaborate on how strongly Mr. Milton Friedman seconds this stance on Social Responsibility.

I might also disclose to you that I have no idea what The Divine Command Theory is and that I fail to understand what was Socrates's point when he asked Euthyphro the famous question: "Is the pious loved by the gods because it is pious, or is it pious because it is loved by the gods?" And how weird is that, studying philosophy in Accounting and Finance, uh?

I will also have to admit that accountancy is by and large the most stodgy profession- Dull as ditch-water. I wake up every morning each day and ask myself: "What on earth am I doing to myself?" Ugh.

Enough bakwaas about how much I loathe accountancy. Another reason that I have been away, which by the way is the primary reason, is that I have been ripped off of my words lately. I cannot seem to scribble up anything that makes sense. This time it isn't just my words that are incoherent and scattered but it is my mind that is plagued with incoherence and is going berserk.

But, don't worry. I will be lurking around in the corners with my nonsensical posts, that is. :)

Love,

Ann.

P.S. By the way, this "started out" as a reply to your comment but...... you know. ;)