Of scents, and moods

Fragrances... make me happy less miserable.

I think this new template has a little glitch - I cannot comment on my posts, nor reply to comments. 

Hmm....

Teen duniya'ain

Ammi jaani, looking up from Ashfaq Ahmed's Zaaviya:

Teenoun teen alag duniyaaon mein hain...

Tumharay papa apne engineering ke bakhairoun mein,

Tum sair-o-safar mein,

Aur mein rouhaniyat ke baaboun mein...

*smiles*

I'm reading again- Niklay Teri Talaash Mein by Mustansar Hussain. Thanks to a silly friend of mine.

Oh and... Isn't tea love, the best love?

*slurps on evening tea*

Ah.

Reminds me of... sloth.

...

♥

Cyber world is creepy.

Z could have been a hacker, and that too a successful one.

I was having an issue while running a file, so I bugged Z to resolve that. Z asked me to connect my phone to the computer. I did. Z established a connection with my system through my phone's GPRS using an SSL. Din Diharay intrusion, woh bhi with my permission. *worried* Well, it wasn't din diharay, to be precise.

Anyways, so Z actually used my system right in front of my eyes. I could see my mouse cursor moving, and windows popping in and out. It was kind of creepy, really.

Once Z was done, I shrieked, "Get out of my computer. Now!" To which, Z couldn't help, but laugh.

Any-the-how, I have got so many games stacked up. I'v got:

i) NFS Hot Pursuit- Reloaded -- They launched a sequel to Hot Pursuit. Yay!! And what's the best part? The cops have cars faster than yours. Haha. And what the best-est? You can choose sides. Double Yay!! You can either be a cop or a racer. I'll be a racer, zahir hai!

ii) Call of Duty 4 - Yes, yes. I know it's old. I haven't played yet. So, it's new for me. You may shut up now. *grins*

iii) Black Ops - This is last year's too.

iv) AOE III - Okay. I know this is way old. But, there's a long story associated with the reason why haven't I completed it yet. So, anyways I'll complete it this time, Insha'Allah.

So, you see. I've been totally out of the gaming scene. Way out. I've lots of catching up to do. Haye!! When will I get to play? *sad face*  ACCA has ruined me. It has. It has. I hate it. And, to top it off, I'm working. Sighs. Once I'm done with ACCA, I'll do a degree in journalism/ mass comm. or textile designing may be. Or... something really weird. Or, I'll just get married. Haha.

OYE!!!!!!!

I'm going to be a phupho again!!! Like after around 15 years. Whoa. Although, I've had a good lot of nieces and nephews in the past decade, but they are my cousins' kids. However, this time it's my pagal brother (the second one). Triple Yay!!!  I'm so happy. Masha'Allah. Masha'Allah.

But then, he's so far away. *sad face* *slaps herself* Don't be sad, you idiot.

Let's think of names! If it's a boy, we can name him Zain-ul-Abideen, or *snaps fingers* Kazim, or I don't know.... waysay, I loveeee the name Abbas, but we already have an Abbas in our family.

If it's a girl, we can name her Fizza? Err... I can't think of many girl names... However, there's this one name that's jumping up and down inside my head. However, nope. Not that. Because, I've saved that name for my daughter. *curls toes* (If ammi finds this out, I'm so roasted.)

I don't know. Will you help? Waysay I'm being too impatient, because there's plenty of time to come up with good names for my niece/nephew. May everything go perfectly fine, Ameen.

What's wrong with Federer, man!? *shakes head* I think his reign might just be getting over. Anyways, I like Rafa too. So, I'm happy as long as one of them keeps winning the day.

This was too long. Phew. I talk too much. Don't I? Z says I talk non-stop (whenever I do, that is). I gotta go. I need to drink water. My throat feels all parched up. *makes a weird face*

*grins*

P.S. I've been feeling like a kid, lately. And, my posts reflect that. Hmm. No clue, what's up.

P.P.S. Furree Katt, I read all your comments, and it was actually fun because I got to read my old posts. Rest assured, I will reply to your comments *winks* as I have a thing for commenting. *grins* Thank you so very much.

I love my cousins.

Random title, I know.

Whenever I see numbers, in places where words should have been, I take them to be a ciphered text. Therefore, I tend to waste a lot of time deciphering them. And, usually fail. I'm terrible at deciphering codes. *smiles sheepishly*

I'm happy. My world's happy. Masha'Allah. I've awesome parents. Awesome brothers/sisters (Ok, my sisters are a little less than awesome, may be. Haha.) I wish they don't read this, otherwise I'll be more dead than I'm already. Younger sisters, sighs. Well, the feeling is mutual. They sigh at me too. *winks* Okay- Back to the awesome-ness list now. Awesome cousins. Awesome khandaan (well, except for a few dehshat-gard anasir). Hehe. If ammi jani reads/ hears (about) this, I'll be in trouble.

Well, once I was speaking to Shayan, a fellow trainee, about my cousins. And, guess what he said? He asked me if I was close to my cousins. I said yes, of course. He said he wasn't. He told me he met his cousins occasionally. On Eids and baraats, may be. I was like, 'whoa, really?' He said, he missed the fact that he didn't have such close ties with his family. I found it sad. But then, I know A LOT of people who never talk about their cousins and all (because, they don't interact much). M. nevers talks about her cousins, neither does Sh, not even Arw. Just me and Fofo, we are the ones gabbing about how fun our cousins are, et cetera, et cetera.

So, you see. My life's good. Masha'Allah.

I just whine, for the sake of it. Because, it kind of feels nice, you see. And then, everything isn't happy-happy always, right. There are downturns. Sad moments. Irritable moments. Angry moments! But, on the whole, everything's great. Alhumdolillah.

It's just that I'm a cynic. I'm sarcastic. Oooh. Way sarcastic, to be true! I can kill you with sarcasm. Beware, mine is not a comic version of sarcasm. It's bitter and very rude. However, cheer up- I won't kill you. Because, I'm not sarcastic all the time.

I can even make you laugh your lungs out but that happens very rarely. And, with a very few people only.

Ever heard about 'the look'? I can give you 'the look', that will make you believe it's all your fault. That you're so horrible. So awful. You may not admit, but you'll feel so damn bad. *smiles*

And when I'm up to something mischievous, Z says I get that roguish twinkle in my eyes that will tell you I'm up to something. My eyes let everything out, which isn't a good thing really. *frowns*

I can even make you cry.

By the way, it all sounds as if I do all this knowingly. However, that's not how it is. All these things were told to me by others. So, I didn't really know I could do so many things. *grins*

Anyways, enough with randomness. I'll end this post. And, write another one, may be. I'm in a mood for blogging (read: babbling/ranting/whining). Right now, I will have an orange, actually two, and go sit with papa for a while.

Ok, see you!

Sha'Khaz-zaarber

...Anwer bhai uttered to me in a full-on pashtu accent.

I felt a little lost for a moment. I, despite having a fascination for the language, don't understand Pashtu. Hence, had no idea what he meant.

However, after a while of conjecturing and an attempt to put things into context, I finally deciphered what he said.

He said...

'Shock-Absorber'.

"Bhai yeh awaz kis cheez ki arahi hai?"


"Baaji, yeh dekhana paray ga. Yeh awaz ya tou bearing ka araha hai ya tou sha'khaz-zaarber ka."

Yes. Yes. I'm silly. But he made it sound like a Pashtu/Farsi word or something, I swear. Not entirely my fault , bha'ee.

*smiles*

I've been waiting for the moonlight... II

Yaad agaya!

What I was wanting to say was that Sid (John Abraham) in the movie (Jhoota Hi Sahi) stammers. His stammer was cute though. So anyways, I used to stammer too, sometime back. It used to happen very seldom though, but I don't know I somehow started to stammer. My stammer was pretty slight- almost negligible and, it happened sometimes only. The funny part is, I didn't stutter as a kid but somehow I developed this habit in my teenage. Even now, I stammer at a word sometimes. But as I said, it happens seldom and it's almost unnoticeable. Phew. *grins*

Umm... So, once I was telling R. api about how I've started stammering all of a sudden; she laughed it off and said, 'They say if you start being with people who stammer you yourself might catch a stammer....'. I knew what she meant by this. And, I had to look away to conceal the smile that was slowly crawling up my lips. She, of all people, must know that the people who stammered once don't stammer anymore- not really.

I had a yummy qeema today. What made it even more yummy was the fact that I had lunch at five-ish and hence, was starved. Then, as I got up to wash my hands off after having my lunch I professed my love of qeema to ama jani. And then she said, 'Acha... Magar tum tameez se tou nahi khaati', to which I said 'Na ami, I am always just with the qeema...' *smiles* and absolutely out of nowhere my mother exclaimed, 'Yeah, Z. likes qeema too...' And I was like, '....' Where did Z. come from ami, I wondered inside my head. We were talking about qeema mum, not Z. *smiles*

Hmmm.... You too are one hell of a character, aren't you? *smiles* Everybody loves you so much. You make me jealous, you know. You do. And, I used to make you jealous-once, I know. *smiles*

Itsy bitsy tidbits..

Going to bed early isn't equal to sleeping early! *frowns* Phir jaldi uthadiyaaa.
♣
My new morning ritual... Listening to qawwalis.
♣
Had halwa puri in breakfast. Yummm... The aachar wass..... ahhh awesome. While I was haath saaf-ing on my halwa (haha), ami jani stopped me in the middle and scolded me for taking teeny-sized bites. I resisted but she persisted. Once she realised I am not going to increase the size of my bites she took the spoon from my platter, filled it with the halwa and put it in my mouth. I told her I shall take larger bite but she refused to listen. She made me finish the halwa with her own hands. Wow. Whatever came over her today. It's been long since I had food from her hands. It was awesome and a little embarrassing too- I'll be twenty-one in twenty one days. But she's my ama jaanii, no matter how old I get!
♣
I need to work out, despite the fact that my eating habits have gotten so messed up as I've been skipping meals. I shall start walking or jogging, may be. *feels too lazy to do either*
♣
I'm not reading blogs anymore, not really. I don't feel like commenting either. I don't know. I'm just disoriented. And then, someone's missing...
♣
Anonymous followers, hmm... Aren't we all anonymous, hiding behind veils of pseudonyms?
♣
You are a chronic liar, aren't you? Well, your habit has been innocuous to date but there is a tiny bit of a problem. The line between what's true and what's made-up is blurring... I'm afraid, I shall start taking your words for granted very soon.
♣
Only recently, I used to wonder how would it be like? To have feelings for someone you don't know; someone you've never met and you know you'll never meet; someone who doesn't even have a name; someone you don't even know if exits at all...
♣
I've been writing this post since morning... It nearly 4 on the clock now.
♣
It's raining.... But it's so quiet. I feel like speaking in whispers.
♣
Rouk sako tou pehli baarish ki boondo'n ko tum rouko
Kachi mitti tou mehkegi hai mitti ki majburi...
♣
Sighs...

I'm out of titles

Sunday, 3rd October, 2010

Sigh. It's been days, yeah. Mm-hmm. So, where shall I start from? Nowhere, I suppose. (Let's skip the 'I've been busy and blah and blah and blah and further blah') *smiles*

When I logged in to blogger today, I was hoping to see a lot many posts that I could read but uhh... Well, there were only five on my dashboard. Disappointment.

I've been just a tad bit busy. Well, actually I've been more tired/lazy than busy hence, the absence. *smiles*

I wished to be here in a pleasant frame of mind which I've had lately. However, (don't you just hate howevers, buts, neverthelesses, athoughs, et cetera?) I'm not in a very pleasant mood, as of now. Ugh. This is so wrong! I've had an awesome weekend. Just one little thing has no right to ruin it all. I will not allow this. I will not....

Tuesday, 5th October, 2010

(contd.)
They say I'm very strong. I cannot decide whether it is a good thing, or bad. I'm not strong, my fury is. It seems to overpower each and every emotion. And, they need to be corrected. I do not excel at masking my emotions. If I did, would my annoyance have been that evident?

However, there's one good thing. My resentment is ephemeral. Well, that's about the only thing good about it.

I'll write a new post. I find this one weary.

Bye-bye, title-less post.

You haven't lost your smile at all...

"You haven't lost your smile at all, it's right under your nose. You just forgot it was there..." 

- Author unknown

I am so utterly stupid. 

I can control my expressions almost always save, when the expression is a smile. It's so so so hard to prevent my lips from curving into a smile. The only solution in such a situation is to look away. But looking away doesn't help much either. Because I blush too much. Excessively, I tell you. It doesn't matter whether I'm undertaken by anger or delight, one thing is sure and that'd be... Yes, my face turning into a tomato.

My smile is so obvious. It gets embarrassing some time. *smiles*

Ain said something to Z. and I overheard so, I couldn't keep myself for smiling. But, I was so concerned about Ain not noticing my smile, I started fixing my chapal's strap for absolutely no reason. Because, I knew had she spotted me smiling I would have come in the line of fire which would have been uber embarrassing.

I smile too much. (I don't know, may be not really).

♦♦♦

Oh c'mon Z.! Did you really have to have a head ache the same day I did? Please dude! I never get sick (Alhumdolillah) and when I finally did, you decided to try and steal the stage from me. Hmph! Not fair. I am being mean, no? Okay, excuse me, lol. I wonder if this was the reason I was so cross with you today. *smiles sheepishly* I can also be prove to be utterly lame as well at times. 

♦♦♦

If I was a kid now and someone would have asked me, 'beta what do you want to be when you grow up?' I would have said without a slightest delay, "a Cookie Monster!"

Such is my love for the Cookie Monster. *blushes*

[Image courtesy: deviantART]

Chocolates & Changes

I don't seem to like chocolates anymore. I've lost the craving, lately. I still have a sweet tooth but, chocolates have been pushed way down the 'I-like-list'.

Change is insinuating deep inside me, I feel it. For better, or for worse, I am unable to decide.

The things that you want to change, seem to stay constant and stick out their tongue at you. And, the things that you never wanted to change... Sighs.

Change is inevitable. And, indispensable too, at times.

Wishes, letters and more...

I hated you for the initial ten years of my life. Then, I loved you for the next ten. I guess it's time to hate you again- for another ten years. *smirks* I see the change has already set in. Whoever said human feelings cannot follow a pattern. There is a pattern, don't you see? It is cyclical. Ha.


I think I should abstain from such bakwaas for tonight, at least.

It's Chand Raat. It's going to be Eid tomorrow. Yayee! Guess what, I received a text from an unknown number that read, "Happy moon night =P". Okay, whatever, lol.

Sighs. I am missing so many people. *frowns* Uh, okay no, not many, I am missing only a couple of people. I think I'll write some imaginary letters to them. Umm... Here they go.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Dear papa jani,

I miss you. I wish you were here.  I love it when you pick up the phone and I say, "Asalamalaikum papa jaaani" and you reply with a cheery, "Walekumsalam papa jaani". Pa, I love you. So very much. Tsk. Tsk. Have I ever told you that you are my only shield against ami's ghussa. *winks* Bet you never knew that. Oh God! I am missing you so much. I wish I could teleport to you and give you a very tight hug.

May my thoughts find you in the best of health. All of us are going to miss you on Eid. And again, before I end my letter, I love you. I always will.

Yours,

Ann.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Dear Bj,

I miss you, you fool. Had you been here, we'd be out roaming on the streets in the bazaars. As of now, I am reading The Lost Symbol. Imagine that. I am reading a book on chaand raat. However. S. and ZB. still have plans with BJ, so they will be going out once they come here. But, not me. I shall get back to reading.  

I want to hug you. It's been ages since I did that. And after hugging you, I'd really appreciate hitting you hard for making me miss you so much. That'll be all for you. Will be calling you in a while.

Yours,

Maassi.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

As for the rest of you, who are still somehow bearing with my goofiness- Chaand Raat Mubarak to all of you. May tomorrow's morning bring you lots of joy. While some of you must be having your Eid today, so Eid Mubarak!! *smiles*

Goodnight.

Lovely little things...

I am really looking forward to Eid. *grins* Just thinking about it is making me grin. Last year's Eid was awesome. The entire family gathered at my mama's place and it was great. The giggles, the gossips, the food (err.. not my thing though). Everything was fun. I remember BJ and Z. teasing me on my driving skills. They kept calling me driver and kept pestering me on how BJ forced Pa jani to get the car insured just because of me.

Oh by the way, BJ thinks I'm a mad driver. Well, because one day I and BJ were coming back from my chachu's place and I was driving my car and he was driving his. Chachu's and our homes are close by so, we were using the service road instead of the main and it had gotten a little traffic-ky due to the double parking. So anyways, I got through it but BJ got stuck. Imagine that, lol. So, I had to wait for him. When we reached home, he narrated to Ami jani how quickly I by passed the jam. He said, he thought, 'Aaj tu gayee gaari... Jis speed se ye nikli hai... Allah khair...' lol.

By the way, I kind of agree with the male species, women drivers are dumb. Trust me. I'm not referring to myself though, lol. (Although, I might myself be dumb. Or not!) But generally speaking, women don't make good drivers. The only problem is that they kind of trouble others as well.

I am still a beginner but I am a little too good for beginner (Thanks to my coach: Chachu). I have no idea how did I manage to learn to drive. When I initially started learning, at times BJ and at times another driver Alauddin uncle used to teach us (me and my sisters). I remember I found it so hard to get the car moving in the first gear. I found it so hard to press the accelerator and leave the clutch simultaneously and consequently, I used to almost always end up stalling. It's all so bloody calculated bhaee.  BJ used to get pissed off. Allauddin uncle didn't use to say anything though. Anyhow, teen teen logon ki jee torr mehnat ke baad I mastered getting into the first gear. *smiles* Driving used to be fun initially. Now that I know how to drive, the charm has evaporated. *smiles*

I didn't really want to learn to drive but Pa jani wanted me to learn. He calls me his chhota driver. Actually he calls me chhotu, lol. Well because, I am his assistant electrician, carpenter, plumber, driver, et cetera. A handy-man (or girl), in short. *grins* Jack of all trades, master at none! Anyways, so he actually wanted us to be less dependent on the drivers. Because drivers are similar to electricity here in Pakistan, they keep coming and going, lol. Saeed bhai left. :( He decided he wanted to drive a larger vehicle, lol. Now, we've got Anwar bhai. I hope he doesn't leave anytime soon. He's a good person too. But Saeed bhai was so nice.

Drivers and massi's are my Ami jani's hugest dilemmas. Unki tu raat din ki neend haram hojati hai agar driver chala jaye ya jane wala ho. Ami huzoor is worried these days. She's pretty upset. She has lost some of her jewellry. She has looked everywhere but to no use. Please pray that she finds her things back. Insha'Allah.

Umm... Oye guess what! I haven't been to shopping the entire Ramazan. Not even once. Can you believe that? *grins* I despise shopping. As astonishing as it may sound to you, but yes. I don't have the stamina required for shopping. Mera bas chalay tu mere liye koi aur shopping karliya karay. However, I am not that lucky. I happen to be a bit picky. So, my sisters and mother don't risk buying things for me until and unless I beg them too. It doesn't mean I don't love clothes or shoes or et cetera. In fact, I love everything except shopping. Despite this fact, I have to shop. And surprisingly, this time I haven't been out at all. However, my tayari is complete. How? Long story.

I talk too much. This will end here.

Good night.

Roses & Randomness

Roses? Oh don't ask me! It's just like that. Thank you very much for your concern. It was unnecessary though.

*smiles* We were speaking of music, weren't we? Mhm... So, here's the thing. My taste in music is peculiar. And it is awfully diversified. It is a khichri, basically. I shall post my playlist some day and then you'll know, lol. But for now let me give you a little example, I love "Anokha Ladla" by Tina Sani and I love "Save Tonight" by Eagle Eye Cherry too. I love "Deepak Raag Hai Chahat Apni" by Shahida Parveen and I love "Ironic" by Alanis Morissette. I love listening to "Mere Sapno Ki Rani Kab Ayegi Tu" by Kishore Kumar and I love listening to umm.... You get the point, don't you? *grins* 

It appears as if I listen to too much music. Well no, that is not the case much. I listen to it when I feel like listening.

You know what, I was in an aiween (read: bad) mood when I started writing this random post. But now, I am feeling great. Randomness is awesome. Oookay. I am weird. Period.

I am tired, but at peace...

A messy consolation note from ZB.

She left me this note yesterday while I was working on an office assignment. *smiles* I left my notebook for a while and when I returned this note was sticking out its tongue at me. ZB. needs to improve her skills at Paint, lol.

I have been a little busy. The reporting deadline for this assignment is nearing and hence, the increased work load. I finally have work to do now *sighs with relief* Therefore, the listlessness has bid farewell, which is a good thing. My team mates have started accepting me. They no more treat me like an extra-terrestrial body. Phew! Thank God. *wipes the sweat off the forehead* I am tired, yes. I haven't slept properly since a few nights. My head has started hurting a bit. And I miss Blogger. *frowns* For me, the scope of internet has now been restricted to Blogger/Wordpress and a couple of sites that I visit to listen to music. Ah. Music reminds me of the fact that I have an eccentric taste in music. Eccentric in the sense that my taste doesn't match much with most of the people my age. Only a few hours ago, Z. (not the sister) awed at me for the reason that I was listening to a qawwali. Oh! By the way, which reminds me that a few days ago when we went to R.'s place, we were listening to manqabats and stuff. I found a beautiful qawwali by Khan sahib in R.'s playlist and it was marvelous, I'm telling you. I'll share it soon. Anyways, so yeah, I have a boorhay loog kind of taste. I remember last summer, when we went for the Kashmir tour. A tour-fellow, after listening to my playlist, gave me a surprised look and said to another person, "Iss ki playlist tou check karo. Aisa lagta hai jaise is mein koi purane zamaney ki rooh ghussi ho.." *grins* I can relate my taste to my elders however, it's very seldom that people my age share the same taste with me. However, this by no means implies that I don't like aaj kal ka music. In fact, I do. I do like the good ones, of course. Ab itni bhi boorhi nahin hon. *smiles*

This is abrupt but I have to go. Something inside my abdomen has suddenly started aching badly. I think it's my kidneys probably. I am hardly drinking water these days. I think I'm trying to kill myself. Uh. Whatever.

Good night.

All in a day's work II

I've to remove this orange sorbet nail colour from my nails. It's looking messy now. Oh! Have I told you how crazy I am about nail colours? I ♥ nail polishes. I don't wear much make-up ('cause I don't need to :p) but nail colour is a must. I like to use different colours at a single time (sometimes). Multi-coloured nails, you see. ZH. thinks it looks crazy. Never mind. ☺

This is my first weekend after I've started my interns. Now I'll too be thanking God for Fridays. Yet another reason to thank God. Alhumdolillah. I was telling Sh. the other day that an internee becomes a bhikaari most of the times. "Allah ke naam per koi kaam de do baba"!  No, really! My first day was borrrring. I had one other internee with me called Shayan, he used to be with me at Lyceum too but I didn't know him then. There was another person called Hassan as well but he was posted at the client's. Shayan passed the Core papers. I didn't. *sobs* Stupid Corporate Reporting! So, anyways. As I am awfully awful at talking with random people so I ended up being the usual- awful, that is. There was just one girl other than me and she was hired around 3 years ago. Her name's Mariam. She's nice- may be. I am not sure. J. says she's rude. But J. is a cartoon.

I didn't have any work on the first day. Just sat and gave gawky stares, lol. Second day was a bit better, got a little work to do which was a relief. E. bhai gave me GIPS report to read which constituted of 78 pages. o.O That was crazy. Instead of reading the report I opened up BBC and browsed the news. ☺Later, S2. Sir  informed me that I'll be posted at one of the client's from the next day. That made me sad. Itni mushkil se I had adjusted in here and now another new place and new people. Anyways, so I went to the client's the next day. F. is sweet. A little boring. Doesn't talk much, pretty shy I guess. S1. Sir is very nice and kind but U. sir.... Uff! He looks so irritated. He scares me. The fourth day was awful. F. didn't utter a single word to me. Actually, it's only F. with whom I can speak, you see. Because, the other two people are seniors and a lot older than me. Therefore, it went pretty boring and to top it S1. Sir gave me the client's Financial Statements to read. Ugh. Fifth day was awesome. ☺Mhm.. That's about it. My first week at work. Umm.. You know, because a girl has been hired after such a long time, there seems to be a coldness that gets eerie at times. And then, I am not very great at breaking the ice either so it's a little blah for the time being. I think it'll take a little more time until I can settle myself in with them. I am fine with no talking until and unless I have got work to do. However, when I neither have something to do and nor anyone to talk to, I feel like banging my head with the wall.

I want to complete NFS Shift. I am just not getting the time. It's half done. Every week Sam asks me "Aani have you installed it yet.." and I reply him with the same ghisa pitta answer. Ugh. I am so lazy. I need to buy a few more games. I haven't played Project IGI 2 yet. Imagine that. There are so many games I haven't checked out. I have become boring. Okay! Enough with the laziness. I will install Shift today and complete it real soon. Insha'Allah. *grins*

F.Y.I

Stress testing, my love... It's called 'stress testing'.

Of sehri and other lovely things...

First sehri, huh? I'm lovin' it... (MacDonald's should consider signing me up for their ad. campaign- These day it's too much of "I'm lovin' it" and blah with me).

Had a hearty sehri. *smiles* Wait! No, my hearty sehri does not include spicy stuff which is normally particular to lunches and dinner but for some reason people decide to have them at sehri. How do thee do that? (That twisted my tongue, I swear) Anyways, so how? Especially the most shocking of all, the infamous, "nehari". Taubah. What? *grins* Don't give me looks. You can have it, if you want to. Meine kab mana kiya hai?!

S. drinks so much water at sehri. She is insane. I asked while she poured the third glass of water into her tank, "kya faidaa..??" Her reply was, a grin only. I cannot drink more than one glass. One glass and I'm done.

I need to stop humming songs now. *sheepish smile* I was humming to a ghazal while having my sehri. Taubah hai.

Uff... Ramazan is the one of the best-est things in the world. It is so blisssssful, ain't it?

*prays under the breath* (Allah karay roza na lagay pehle he din...)

Off to bed. *grin*

Baraf paani

Well, technically speaking, I do not have much to write about. Nevertheless, I am here out of boredom. However, my mind is not empty of thoughts. Oh yes, I have hundreds of thoughts playing baraf paani inside my head. I miss playing these games baraf paani, kho-kho, chupan chupai.... *smiles* I am thinking...

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Human beings are the most bizarre of all living species. You can never- N-E-V-E-R, know everything about them. Not even if you have grown up in front of them or they have in front of you. There will always be surprises, some pleasant while some not so pleasant at all. There can be little things, their opinions, their wishes, their thoughts, et cetera.

When Z. spoke about eemandari in a nearly slighting manner, I was disappointed. According to Z., honest people live a tension filled life. That is so not true. There is also a thing called self-satisfaction and what 21 years of my little life have revealed upon me is the fact that contentment is far more long lasting than happiness. And anyways, is this world the only thing that matters? How subtly have we become so materialistic. I know Z. is an honest person despite these thoughts but, it was sad.

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I like commenting. But I write such loooong comments. Kahaniyan likhti hon puri. *smiles*

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Can two narcissists exist together in a symbiotic manner?

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Can people really spend their entire lives compromising the entire time? And while doing that, can they be happy? Can compromises and happiness co-exist? *smiles*

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People are so stupid. They forward any and every idiotic message they receive without even thinking for a second over it. Should they be some utterly lame chain messages with ridiculous warnings or some disgusting political propagandas. I just received one against pathans. Hellow! They are the ones who are being killed. What the hell! Who ate your brains? Stupid people!

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You know what Compassion Fatigue is? It is what you and I are suffering from. It is what all of us have been plagued with.

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I don't have many close friends, I have to confess. Yes, there are quite a few people whom I laugh and giggle with but close friends... that I only have four. *smiles* But I do get a little cynical about the sincerity of this friendship at times. I often am forced to believe that the flow of sincerity is one-sided. Ami jani used to say to me: "Doston ko kabhi azma'ish mein nahin dalna chahye... Doston ko azmana nahi chahye..." She is right. But despite everything, I love them. Yes, I have not been very lucky with the type of friends I have but I love them. End of story.

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I have lost my appetite. Not that I had a very good one before having lost it now. LOL. However, I do not like anything. Something must be wrong with my taste buds. My mother has to run after me to make me eat (figuratively speaking, of course). I eat as slow as a turtle. I do not like very hot food. I sense no taste when I eat hot food. I like it mildly warm. I just eat because I have to. And there are people who live to eat. I act a little ungrateful at times which is a bad thing. At times, when I am busy throwing my tantrums regarding food this thought strikes me hard and I immediately thank Allah for everything and apologize to Him for being so ungrateful.

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I am missing a lot of people. Some have ceased to exist any longer while others... Others have ceased being the way they used to be. Good ol' times. I miss them.

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And I started the post by saying that I do not have much to write about. Yeah, right.

Mohabbat Mar Nahin Sakti

"KION?"

Yes, that is exactly my question. Aray bhaee! Kion nahin mar sakti? Matlab mujhey koi iss baat ki mantaq sumjhaye. Iss duniya mein har cheez ko fana hai tu Mohabbat mein kya anokha hai? Mohabbat kion ker lafaani hai? Mohabbat kis khushi mein mout se mustasna hai?

Mohabbat mar sakti hai! Han! (Oh and mind you!) Mera ishara eik begharz kisam ki mohabbat ki taraf hai. Han, tu baat ye hai ke mohabbat mar sakti hai kion ke koi bhi cheez humesha baqi nahi rehti siwaye Uss ke jo har cheez ka Khaaliq hai. Ab dekhiye na, mohabbat bhi Rab ki khilqat hai. Khuda ne takhleeq kiya mohabbat ko aur bohat sarii cheezon ki tarah matlab- Mohabbat bhi makhlooq/khilqat hai! Ab jab ke insaan jo ke "ashraf-ul-makhloqaat", yani tamam makhloq se afzal, jab usay he mout se koi istasna hasil nahi tu phir yeh mohabbat kya cheez hai janab?

Hosakta hai aap ko ikhtilaf ho meri ra'ye se balke ain mumkin hai ke aapko aitraaz ho. Kijye! Bilkul kijiye, shoq se kijiye- aapko haq hasil hai. Magar mein is mein aapki koi madad nahi karsakti jab tak ke aap mujhey koi mazboot aur wazni kisam ki koi mantaq nahi paish karte.

Yeh mera "aarzi" falsafa hai. Aap apni kahiye? Mein sarapa sama'at hon. Ab aap ko aitraaz hoga ke yeh "aarzi" falsafey se meri kya murad! Tu janab, iss baat se murad yeh hai ke... Iss saray falsafey mein eik loophole hai- ab woh loophole kya hai yeh mein, bohat ma'zarat ke saath, aapko nahi bataongi. Aap ko Allah ne dimagh zahir hai istemal karne ke liye he diya hai lehaza istemal kijiye. Khair, tu iss loophole ki waja se  bilkul abhi abhi eik aur khayal mere zehan mein aya hai aur woh yeh hai ke...

Mohabbat is one of the types of energy.

And don't all of us know what the mash'hor-e-zamana law about energy is.Yes. "Energy cannot be created or destroyed, it can only be changed from one form to another."

You know what am I thinking now? Exactly. What does it become when mohabbat changes form?

Hmm... *shrugs*

P.S. This post is a product of sheer randomness. Please bear with me. *grins*

Garmi Ne Kebab Bana Diya Hai...

Read that in a Pathan-like accent. Haha.

I like pathans. They are cute. Especially their dialect. And then they use these weird words that other people usually don't, like "Zalim", "Zakhmi", et cetera. I remember Zafar bhai (our once-upon-a-time driver) once saying something to a chowkidar in Pashtu, the only words that my brain could register and process were "zalim garmi", while sitting at the back seat of the car at that time, I wanted to burst out in giggles.   :)

So, today I went to a local bazaar, a  Friday Bazaar.  My mother was going so I went along with her despite the scorching heat. Haye Allah! Don't ask kitni garmi thi. I am not a big shopping fan but I went anyway- had nothing better to do. But the garmi.. Uff! I could literally feel drops of sweat dripping down my skin. Eww, sick. I am giving out too much detail, no? Lol. Anyways, so it was at this bazaar that I heard a Pathan vendor say to himself, "Haye! Garmi ne kebab bana diya hai.." I liked what he said, hence the title. Hahah.  Then there was this other vendor who heard us talking to each other in Sindhi and started talking to us in sindhi as well . My mouth nearly dropped open. Lol. I looked at him closely to see if he really did look like a Pathan. Then, he told us that his nani is (or was, I am not sure) a Sindhi. Trust me, he sounded very awesome, speaking Sindhi with a Pashtu accent. *chuckles*


Mhmm... Yes, I am back to my senses. I have no idea what had gotten into me that night. Nothing especial really happened, it was not because of someone or anyone. It was just me feeling a little, err... feeling a little... I don't know, weird might be the word. I just typed down everything that was on my mind and now that I read it for the first time after publishing it, I feel lame. *curls toes* This blog is becoming more of a personal diary. o_0 I have started scribbling my thoughts down as blog posts in their most raw form. Sighs.

So, yes. Sidra was right. I needed to get out of the house. Breathe in some fresh air. I was brain dead, perhaps and needed more oxygen. And so, I decided to go to take the today's swimming lesson. I had already been bunking the previous two classes. *passes a sheepish smile* C'mon. I was tired. I sometimes, only sometimes, find it hard to wake up early bhaee. I finally completed the whole lap in one go doing freestyle.  *Wohoo* Swimming is fun. It keeps me distracted- for two hours atleast. No, actually more because after swimming I am so tired I have no idea how the day passes. I am amazed how I have made a pretty good amount of friends at the pool. Me? Making friends? Now that is a surprise. By the way, to tell you a fact, people find me haughty at first sight. Can you believe it? I have NO idea why. There is a line between being reserved and being arrogant. A thin line, although. I am sorry, I do not like socializing so much. You cannot kill me for that now, can you? *smiles*

I love water. But open waters scare me.

You know what else scares me? Mhmm.. We will talk about that some other time, may be...