Of reviews, and work on saturdays

AAA: Kya kar rahe hain?

Shah Saab: .... Tumhari Russain ko English banna raha hon!

Me: .... *bursts into laughter*

Of scents, and moods

Fragrances... make me happy less miserable.

I think this new template has a little glitch - I cannot comment on my posts, nor reply to comments. 

Hmm....

If you were to die now, in this moment; you'd die a death of a wretched person, won't you love?

I feel sorry for you sometimes.

Jab koi duusra nahin hota...

Asar uss ko zarra nahin hota 

Ranj raahat fazaa nahin hota 

Tum hamaray kisi tarah na huwe 

Warna duniya mein kya nahin hota

Naarasaaii se dam rukay tou rukay 

Mein kisi se Khafa nahin hota 

Tum meray paas hotay ho goya 

Jab koi duusra nahin hota

Haal-e-dil yaar ko likhouN kion ker 

Haath dil se judaa nahin hota 

Kion sunnay arz-e-muztarib ae Momin 

Sanam aaKhir Khudaa nahin hota

In times like these

Liz, she used to be around all the time. I know she was just a cat but believe me when I say, I wasn't so lonely with her around all the time. I used to have someone to talk to, whom I knew, for certain, won't judge me, or criticize me even if what I had to say was utter nuisance (which mostly is the case). Whom, most of all, I could cuddle, and whom I knew I could've forced into listening to me.

*sighs* Anyway. The morning has lit up. I guess I'll go back to bed now.

... Lizzie - I miss her. A lot.

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Lonely Summer Afternoons

The weather isn't as bad as it had been until earlier this week. It's sunny, but breezy. I guess I get why the weather updates kept saying, it will be pleasant this weekend.

With S and papa jaani gone on their separate little expeditions; ammi, Zizoo (she'll kill me if she finds I call her that here) and I are sort of, feeling a tad wee lonely. It's quieter around here now. Not saying papa jaani and S used to ensure a havoc back here- well I'm sure about S at least. *giggles*

Trimmed my nails. I think I clipped them a little too short, they're going to bug me a little now.

So... Do you have something to say?

Please don't say no. Say something; anything.

Dil chah raha hai koi mujhse baat baatain karay, bohat saari.

And for the same reason, I miss Gruph. She talks a lot. A lot lot! The emphasis on a lot cannot simply be over emphasized, that's all I'm saying.

I want to go meet her; and I know, she's going to get a bit out of hand and go on talking without any need for input, or response from the other party. So, basically I know it's going to be a one-way communication. But, I am desperate. *deep breath*

Lazy, lonely, summer afternoons. Sounds like a good time to read, eh?

Let's see how the day unrolls.

Adieu.

P.S. Ohhh... How do you pronounce Les Misrables? Leh-what? Lol.

I am supposed to be working.

I'm tired of being lonely.

And, I'm tired of being around people... *smiles vapidly*

Exhausted, actually - So would've I told you, had you stayed to listen.

-

Such an unsatisfied soul I have turned into.

I've lost so much. And everything that remains is fading out, slowly but surely. Allah saeen, family, friends, loved ones, inner peace, the slightest essence of life, all's lost.

Iss qadr iztaraab hai ke sumajh se baahir.

Zindagi kaise flip karjaati hai eik he dum mein youn achanak. Sambhalne ka mouqa bhi nahin deti.

I want to go back to the States. I know, coming back from there last October, I had almost sweared upon my own life never to return; but now I want to. I miss being around bj, rayyan... these are my pretexts.

Loug qurbaaniyaan kion dete hain? Kya haasil hojata hai? Izzat, aqeedat...? Aur woh jo zindagi bhar ke malaal haath aatay hain, qurbaan kiye jaanay wali cheezoun ka gham?

Dosroun ke dil tootne se bachanay ke liye, apni zindagi ki azeez tareen khwaahishat qurbaan kardi jaayn tou kya hota hai?

I've lost my zing - the factor that was me, that made me, me! I cannot concentrate on anything, anymore. Eik saraab ke peechay bhaag rahe hain hum. But can you blame us? Will you blame us?

Can you blame a weary desert traveler, beaten down by thirst and the scorching sun, for his mind's nasty illusive tricks? Can you blame him for chasing mirages, and hoping against hopes?

Hope's a nasty thing. Umeed jo marti nahin, insaan ko maar deti hai aksar.

S's in Istanbul, having loads of fun mashaAllah. She's one lucky gal. My cuddle monkey! *smiles* Knows how to get what she wants. May she always have what she wants, and for the better. Ameen.

Mein bohat zaalim hon? Nahin tou. Shayed... Nahin. Yaqeenan. Nahin yaar, mein zaalim tou nahin; bas halaat... ne aisa kardiya.

Aap khatarnaak had tak bigri huwi hain muhtarma. Aap chahti hain aapko pyaar kiya jaaye, aapka khayaal rakha jaaye, chahay aapka apna rawaiya kitna he na rawwa kion na ho. Aisa nahin hota yaar... Aisa kaheen nahin hota.

Aapko meri yaad nahin aati?

Mujhe khwaab nahin aatay... na burray na achay. My sleep, it's nothing but darkness. A vaccum, not even static. Time, wasted. I wish to have dreams while I sleep. I once asked Bambi to sell some of the many dreams Bambi sees almost every night, to me.

Mujhe neend se kya dushmani hai? Na sirf apni neend se, balke dosroun ki neend se bhi. *sighs*

Meine kya kiya hai yaar?

Kisi cheez mein dil nahin lagta - na deen mein, na duniya mein. Duniya ko tou jhoonko aag mein, yeh jo Allah saaeen aur apne beech itni duuri le aayi ho is per kion ghour nahin karti bibi?

I must go and work now. Office bhi jaana subha. Don't want to sleep, might not as well. Dinner bhi nahin kiya. *takes a deep breath*

Feel like reading punjabi poetry.

Uski muskurahat kitni pyaari hai na. *sighs and smiles*

Allah Hafiz...

Ab masla saara yeh hai muhtarma, ke duniya aapke mood ke mutabiq tou nahin na chalegi; duniya ka apna nizaam, apni marzi, apne mood.

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Of things, you never imagined living without

... Lizzie bohat yaad aati hai yaar - har waqt.

*sighs*

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Of departures and longings

I wish I could've boarded one of those flights...

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'Tum gehri neendoun mein jab soye soye ho,
Tou mujh mein jagtay ho kion...'

I miss my sillu Lizzu.

It's pathetic, how much i miss her.

What's even more pathetic and heart wrenching, at the same time, is the recollection of that night, when all I wished was for her to make it through the night n the day to break, so that I could've taken her somewhere- somewhere she could be tended to...

Death's inevitable... I just have an issue with it being so hideously painful for the dying, while others are left with no choice but to helplessly look at them die slowly n painfully.

I wish... Oh, forget it. *sighs* What does it even matter now.

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Kion dekhte rehte hain sitaaroun ki taraf hum
Jab unse mulaqaat ka waada bhi nahin hai... 

Greedy, much?