Salman Khan.......

*lets out a cold sigh*

P.S. I've met him... in my dreams. Twice. *grins*

Raat ke khvaab sunaaye'n kis ko raat ke khvaab suhaanay thay

I saw a dream once. And, all of it felt more real than reality. However, it was far too beautiful to have been real. Ethereal, it was. Love, it was.

I fell in love- with someone... someone I know doesn't exist. It was, all of it, merely a figment of my dainty imagination. But, it was so real.

I was in a library, or was it a huge book store? It was a brightly lit and a very cozy place. S. was with me and we were sifting through the books resting on the shelves. I suddenly felt as if someone was watching me. I ignored the feeling and continued checking the books. However, the feeling grew stronger. I could sense the warmth of someone's stare and it was no longer possible to ignore. I looked around. There was nothing out of the ordinary. Just when I was about to shrug my shoulders and concentrate back on the book in my hands something caught my eye.

Someone was standing beside the shelves. A few feet away from where I was standing. I looked up from the book and... my moral compass went berserk. For a second, all the manners I had been taught vanished into thin air. My eyes froze. However, it was just a moment. I pulled myself together and turned to the book in front me. The words appeared undecipherable. They didn't seem to belong to any language that I knew of.

Something happened. The heart skipped a beat. Just a beat. And then, started beating faster than ever.

I had no idea where S. had gone. She wasn't with me. Gazing absently at the book, I watched through the corner of my eye, as the silhouette near the shelves drew closer to where I was until, it was standing next to me. I wished to leave but somehow, my feet were cemented to the ground. Every single muscle in my body defied my urge to move.

While my eyes were still locked with the unrecognized characters on the page, I caught a glimpse of some white papers drawn in front of me. I looked closely at the white pages. They were sketches of some kind. And, they looked familiar. It felt as if I knew the person in the sketches however, my mind couldn't process who.

I took the sketches in my hand. It was me. They were my sketches. I looked up to that stranger with eyes filled with astonishment. He looked back at me with a very blissful expression painted on his face. I could also sense a subtle smile hiding under his expressions. My awe seemed to amuse him, I assume.

I could feel myself blushing, I could feel the blood rushing across my face...

It's been quite a while- longer than a year. I don't remember much. All I know is that I fell in love. And, it was divine. Not a single word was uttered. It was a mime movie. Not a single gesture made. But... who needed words, who needed gestures. It was as if I had been in love with that stranger forever. As if I knew him ever since. I could feel the butterflies in my stomach. I could feel my knees going weak.

Every single feeling, was so real. I felt it. It wasn't just a dream. It was more than that.

But, it couldn't have been real. It was all too magnificent to have been real. Those feelings, those moments... they didn't belong to this world. All of it was so idyllic. So surreal. So beautiful.

And that man, *smiles* who doesn't even exist... I fell in love with him.

Dreams and Iron Giant look-alikes...

I had a weird dream while I slept after sehri. I do not usually dream while I sleep (because I do it better with open eyes). Haha. No, but seriously, it happens very less often. But whenever I do, my dreams are normally weird, so no surprises. *smiles*

I love playing tactical shooter games and hence, this was not the first time I dreamt of myself in a game-like scenario, in the middle of a combat. Yes, you can laugh at me. I will allow you that for now. So anyways, I cannot recall it clearly, it has become a little vague now. However, I remember seeing that I was in my own room looking outside the window. The world was in a chaos. I saw muddy flood water like torrent suddenly rush in from somewhere. Then there was some commotion in a ground right in front of my eyes. I saw something huge standing there. Just like the Iron Giant, only that it was not as innocent as the one in the movie. It was evil. I saw him digging out some sort of a brief case from the ground and he saw me looking at him. I was not supposed to be looking at him probably. The moment our eyes met, I realised I was in trouble. I stepped back from my window but it was no use. He used his jet-pack to fly up to me and he had a weird weapon in his hand. It was shining bright orange which made me realise that it was something horribly hot. I was scared. I cannot recall the details after that but somehow I escaped him. But the relief was momentary, I knew he'd attack me again and he did. But someone saved me. Z. saved me! *confused* Why would Z. save me? This was the most random part. Where did Z. come from? Okay whatever.

Now that I think of what I saw, it makes me laugh. The eccentricity and the sheer randomness of it makes me laugh. Although, when I opened my eyes, I was afraid. The fear that I felt in my dream was too real. I could sense it even after having woken up. That Iron Giant look-alike frightened me. Yes, it did.

My dreams/nightmares are so childish, I must admit.

A dream deferred...

What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up 

like a raisin in the sun? 

Or fester like a sore-- 

And then run? 

Does it stink like rotten meat? 

Or crust and sugar over-- 

like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags 

like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?

-Langston Hughes

Do you dream? Do you hold them close to your heart? Are your dreams the paint brushes that colour your life? Do you believe in them? Do you still?

I don't.

For me, dreams are like stars. When you are a child, you look up at them and smile. Their twinkle creates a mirror image in your eyes. You wish to touch them so that some of their shimmer might stick to your fingers and then you can brush your face gently and glitter like a star itself. But once you grow up, the truth is slapped onto you. The stars are nothing but huge spheres of very hot, glowing gases. First of all, you cannot touch them and even if you somehow do, you will burn yourself.

There is something else common between them as well. Their death. When stars die, they explode into trillions of pieces and go flying haywire in the space, hit whatever comes in their path, destroy (or damage) others; or just get lost in the eternal vastness of the universe. When dreams die, they too shatter into billion little sharp pieces. But they don't fly away, they stay put- in your eyes, and prick them, and sting them for as long as they can. They are like tiny pieces of glass stuck in your eyes. Each time you blink, they make it hurt.

Stars are just a hoax. Their shine, their twinkle lasts only as long as you are gazillions of miles away from them. They are nothing but giant burning balls, oblivious and orbit-less. They are a sham. And so are dreams.