Yaad agaya!
What I was wanting to say was that Sid (John Abraham) in the movie (Jhoota Hi Sahi) stammers. His stammer was cute though. So anyways, I used to stammer too, sometime back. It used to happen very seldom though, but I don't know I somehow started to stammer. My stammer was pretty slight- almost negligible and, it happened sometimes only. The funny part is, I didn't stutter as a kid but somehow I developed this habit in my teenage. Even now, I stammer at a word sometimes. But as I said, it happens seldom and it's almost unnoticeable. Phew. *grins*
Umm... So, once I was telling R. api about how I've started stammering all of a sudden; she laughed it off and said, 'They say if you start being with people who stammer you yourself might catch a stammer....'. I knew what she meant by this. And, I had to look away to conceal the smile that was slowly crawling up my lips. She, of all people, must know that the people who stammered once don't stammer anymore- not really.
I had a yummy qeema today. What made it even more yummy was the fact that I had lunch at five-ish and hence, was starved. Then, as I got up to wash my hands off after having my lunch I professed my love of qeema to ama jani. And then she said, 'Acha... Magar tum tameez se tou nahi khaati', to which I said 'Na ami, I am always just with the qeema...' *smiles* and absolutely out of nowhere my mother exclaimed, 'Yeah, Z. likes qeema too...' And I was like, '....' Where did Z. come from ami, I wondered inside my head. We were talking about qeema mum, not Z. *smiles*
Hmmm.... You too are one hell of a character, aren't you? *smiles* Everybody loves you so much. You make me jealous, you know. You do. And, I used to make you jealous-once, I know. *smiles*
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Saturday, October 30, 2010
I've been waiting for the moonlight...
"Yeh zindagi kitni khoobsurat hai... Aur is zindagi ke siwa kya hai humaray pass...?"
[Jhoota Hi Sahi]
I just watched the movie. It was lovely. Hilarious too. *smiles* Becoming friends with strangers and yet, remaining strangers, I like the idea. It's probably easier to speak to people who don't know you and whom you don't know. I wish.... Ahh forget it! I'm wishing too much these days.
"Mount Everest kab gaya tu?"
"NASA chorne ke baad..."
Haha.
Uhh... Err... You know, there was actually something else that I wanted to write about magar...... Yaad he nahin araha ke kya... Ugh. Why can't I remember things? *frowns*
Uff.. I'm leaving.
[Jhoota Hi Sahi]
I just watched the movie. It was lovely. Hilarious too. *smiles* Becoming friends with strangers and yet, remaining strangers, I like the idea. It's probably easier to speak to people who don't know you and whom you don't know. I wish.... Ahh forget it! I'm wishing too much these days.
"Mount Everest kab gaya tu?"
"NASA chorne ke baad..."
Haha.
Uhh... Err... You know, there was actually something else that I wanted to write about magar...... Yaad he nahin araha ke kya... Ugh. Why can't I remember things? *frowns*
Uff.. I'm leaving.
Itsy bitsy tidbits..
Going to bed early isn't equal to sleeping early! *frowns* Phir jaldi uthadiyaaa.
♣
My new morning ritual... Listening to qawwalis.
♣
Had halwa puri in breakfast. Yummm... The aachar wass..... ahhh awesome. While I was haath saaf-ing on my halwa (haha), ami jani stopped me in the middle and scolded me for taking teeny-sized bites. I resisted but she persisted. Once she realised I am not going to increase the size of my bites she took the spoon from my platter, filled it with the halwa and put it in my mouth. I told her I shall take larger bite but she refused to listen. She made me finish the halwa with her own hands. Wow. Whatever came over her today. It's been long since I had food from her hands. It was awesome and a little embarrassing too- I'll be twenty-one in twenty one days. But she's my ama jaanii, no matter how old I get!
♣
I need to work out, despite the fact that my eating habits have gotten so messed up as I've been skipping meals. I shall start walking or jogging, may be. *feels too lazy to do either*
♣
I'm not reading blogs anymore, not really. I don't feel like commenting either. I don't know. I'm just disoriented. And then, someone's missing...
♣
Anonymous followers, hmm... Aren't we all anonymous, hiding behind veils of pseudonyms?
♣
You are a chronic liar, aren't you? Well, your habit has been innocuous to date but there is a tiny bit of a problem. The line between what's true and what's made-up is blurring... I'm afraid, I shall start taking your words for granted very soon.
♣
Only recently, I used to wonder how would it be like? To have feelings for someone you don't know; someone you've never met and you know you'll never meet; someone who doesn't even have a name; someone you don't even know if exits at all...
♣
I've been writing this post since morning... It nearly 4 on the clock now.
♣
It's raining.... But it's so quiet. I feel like speaking in whispers.
♣
Rouk sako tou pehli baarish ki boondo'n ko tum rouko
Kachi mitti tou mehkegi hai mitti ki majburi...
♣
Sighs...
♣
My new morning ritual... Listening to qawwalis.
♣
Had halwa puri in breakfast. Yummm... The aachar wass..... ahhh awesome. While I was haath saaf-ing on my halwa (haha), ami jani stopped me in the middle and scolded me for taking teeny-sized bites. I resisted but she persisted. Once she realised I am not going to increase the size of my bites she took the spoon from my platter, filled it with the halwa and put it in my mouth. I told her I shall take larger bite but she refused to listen. She made me finish the halwa with her own hands. Wow. Whatever came over her today. It's been long since I had food from her hands. It was awesome and a little embarrassing too- I'll be twenty-one in twenty one days. But she's my ama jaanii, no matter how old I get!
♣
I need to work out, despite the fact that my eating habits have gotten so messed up as I've been skipping meals. I shall start walking or jogging, may be. *feels too lazy to do either*
♣
I'm not reading blogs anymore, not really. I don't feel like commenting either. I don't know. I'm just disoriented. And then, someone's missing...
♣
Anonymous followers, hmm... Aren't we all anonymous, hiding behind veils of pseudonyms?
♣
You are a chronic liar, aren't you? Well, your habit has been innocuous to date but there is a tiny bit of a problem. The line between what's true and what's made-up is blurring... I'm afraid, I shall start taking your words for granted very soon.
♣
Only recently, I used to wonder how would it be like? To have feelings for someone you don't know; someone you've never met and you know you'll never meet; someone who doesn't even have a name; someone you don't even know if exits at all...
♣
I've been writing this post since morning... It nearly 4 on the clock now.
♣
It's raining.... But it's so quiet. I feel like speaking in whispers.
♣
Rouk sako tou pehli baarish ki boondo'n ko tum rouko
Kachi mitti tou mehkegi hai mitti ki majburi...
♣
Sighs...
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
You-'I'-me-'Miss'-we-'You' us...
Happy Birthday Bj. May you have many many many more. May God always bless you.
I love you. And, (I miss you).
Paghal.
I love you. And, (I miss you).
Paghal.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
All in a day's work- Not
Something very funny happened today.
I cannot stop laughing thinking about it.
"I've been seeing you around... but haven't got a chance to speak to you..."
"...."
Really? Wow. It's must have been very difficult for you, yeah? Considering the way you speak to any and every one, not getting a chance to have spoken to me must have been uber tough on you.
I wish I wouldn't have come to that desk to use the other system. Lol.
Tsk. Tsk. *chuckles*
I cannot stop laughing thinking about it.
"I've been seeing you around... but haven't got a chance to speak to you..."
"...."
Really? Wow. It's must have been very difficult for you, yeah? Considering the way you speak to any and every one, not getting a chance to have spoken to me must have been uber tough on you.
I wish I wouldn't have come to that desk to use the other system. Lol.
Tsk. Tsk. *chuckles*
Words, retracted
You know how I stopped all of a sudden, in the middle of my sentence... I just realised I can no longer be as candid as I used to be. It was the funny; the way I suddenly started looking up at the tall buildings of PC and Sheraton, and started ranting about their awful location... Yes, I startled you with the sudden shift in gears but... Anyways.
Monday, October 25, 2010
To be or not to be: that is the question...
I was just being open with you. I thought I could say anything to you. I thought I could speak to you about any and everything. I was only being honest. I had no idea my honesty could prick you. I'll be careful next time... I will... But then, isn't concealing the truth as good as lying? I don't want to lie to you. But, I don't want to hurt you either...
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Raat ke khvaab sunaaye'n kis ko raat ke khvaab suhaanay thay
I saw a dream once. And, all of it felt more real than reality. However, it was far too beautiful to have been real. Ethereal, it was. Love, it was.
I fell in love- with someone... someone I know doesn't exist. It was, all of it, merely a figment of my dainty imagination. But, it was so real.
I was in a library, or was it a huge book store? It was a brightly lit and a very cozy place. S. was with me and we were sifting through the books resting on the shelves. I suddenly felt as if someone was watching me. I ignored the feeling and continued checking the books. However, the feeling grew stronger. I could sense the warmth of someone's stare and it was no longer possible to ignore. I looked around. There was nothing out of the ordinary. Just when I was about to shrug my shoulders and concentrate back on the book in my hands something caught my eye.
Someone was standing beside the shelves. A few feet away from where I was standing. I looked up from the book and... my moral compass went berserk. For a second, all the manners I had been taught vanished into thin air. My eyes froze. However, it was just a moment. I pulled myself together and turned to the book in front me. The words appeared undecipherable. They didn't seem to belong to any language that I knew of.
Something happened. The heart skipped a beat. Just a beat. And then, started beating faster than ever.
I had no idea where S. had gone. She wasn't with me. Gazing absently at the book, I watched through the corner of my eye, as the silhouette near the shelves drew closer to where I was until, it was standing next to me. I wished to leave but somehow, my feet were cemented to the ground. Every single muscle in my body defied my urge to move.
While my eyes were still locked with the unrecognized characters on the page, I caught a glimpse of some white papers drawn in front of me. I looked closely at the white pages. They were sketches of some kind. And, they looked familiar. It felt as if I knew the person in the sketches however, my mind couldn't process who.
I took the sketches in my hand. It was me. They were my sketches. I looked up to that stranger with eyes filled with astonishment. He looked back at me with a very blissful expression painted on his face. I could also sense a subtle smile hiding under his expressions. My awe seemed to amuse him, I assume.
I could feel myself blushing, I could feel the blood rushing across my face...
It's been quite a while- longer than a year. I don't remember much. All I know is that I fell in love. And, it was divine. Not a single word was uttered. It was a mime movie. Not a single gesture made. But... who needed words, who needed gestures. It was as if I had been in love with that stranger forever. As if I knew him ever since. I could feel the butterflies in my stomach. I could feel my knees going weak.
Every single feeling, was so real. I felt it. It wasn't just a dream. It was more than that.
But, it couldn't have been real. It was all too magnificent to have been real. Those feelings, those moments... they didn't belong to this world. All of it was so idyllic. So surreal. So beautiful.
And that man, *smiles* who doesn't even exist... I fell in love with him.
I fell in love- with someone... someone I know doesn't exist. It was, all of it, merely a figment of my dainty imagination. But, it was so real.
I was in a library, or was it a huge book store? It was a brightly lit and a very cozy place. S. was with me and we were sifting through the books resting on the shelves. I suddenly felt as if someone was watching me. I ignored the feeling and continued checking the books. However, the feeling grew stronger. I could sense the warmth of someone's stare and it was no longer possible to ignore. I looked around. There was nothing out of the ordinary. Just when I was about to shrug my shoulders and concentrate back on the book in my hands something caught my eye.
Someone was standing beside the shelves. A few feet away from where I was standing. I looked up from the book and... my moral compass went berserk. For a second, all the manners I had been taught vanished into thin air. My eyes froze. However, it was just a moment. I pulled myself together and turned to the book in front me. The words appeared undecipherable. They didn't seem to belong to any language that I knew of.
Something happened. The heart skipped a beat. Just a beat. And then, started beating faster than ever.
I had no idea where S. had gone. She wasn't with me. Gazing absently at the book, I watched through the corner of my eye, as the silhouette near the shelves drew closer to where I was until, it was standing next to me. I wished to leave but somehow, my feet were cemented to the ground. Every single muscle in my body defied my urge to move.
While my eyes were still locked with the unrecognized characters on the page, I caught a glimpse of some white papers drawn in front of me. I looked closely at the white pages. They were sketches of some kind. And, they looked familiar. It felt as if I knew the person in the sketches however, my mind couldn't process who.
I took the sketches in my hand. It was me. They were my sketches. I looked up to that stranger with eyes filled with astonishment. He looked back at me with a very blissful expression painted on his face. I could also sense a subtle smile hiding under his expressions. My awe seemed to amuse him, I assume.
I could feel myself blushing, I could feel the blood rushing across my face...
It's been quite a while- longer than a year. I don't remember much. All I know is that I fell in love. And, it was divine. Not a single word was uttered. It was a mime movie. Not a single gesture made. But... who needed words, who needed gestures. It was as if I had been in love with that stranger forever. As if I knew him ever since. I could feel the butterflies in my stomach. I could feel my knees going weak.
Every single feeling, was so real. I felt it. It wasn't just a dream. It was more than that.
But, it couldn't have been real. It was all too magnificent to have been real. Those feelings, those moments... they didn't belong to this world. All of it was so idyllic. So surreal. So beautiful.
And that man, *smiles* who doesn't even exist... I fell in love with him.
The dilemma I've fallen into...
Happiness rips me off my creativity, or so I feel. In my case, they are two mutually exclusive events. I feel sad without happiness (obviously) and lost with creativity. In both the cases, I am at loss.
I have not written anything that is nice enough, lately. I have not written at all. It is not just the writer's block. Because, I am not having trouble dressing my thoughts with words but, I have no thoughts to begin with. It is as if my mind is empty. I am not thinking anything. No reflections. No introspect.
This is not me. I am not liking this.
Am I saying I do not like being happy?
Sighs. I do not know. It is complicated. I just do not feel like my usual self. I feel over-dosed with happiness and everything else has crept away to the background. It is as if I no more have time to 'think', in my usual mellow manner. It is either I feel too happy to bother about other things, or I am too busy.
I am becoming like them, aren't I? Laugh. Love. Eat. Sleep. That is all. Tsk. No, this is not all. At least, it 'was' not before. My days had more to them that these mundanities. My nights were calmer, anguished sometimes, but calmer. Good or bad, I know not. But, they were more profound than now.
I feel so unreal. So mundane. Just like everybody else. Just like them. I have not cried in front of Him since weeks. Do I think my sins have been effaced? Do I think I have no reason to cry any more? Do I think I have been forgiven? Because everything is so perfect?
I am afraid. I am afraid of everything being just the way I want it to be. I am not thanking Him enough. And, these might as well be tests for me from Him. I am afraid, I will fail.
I am afraid of being happy. Because, I know. I know no happiness is everlasting. Happiness slurs over time and something else takes its place. That something frightens me. Happiness and sorrows play in a random loop. It is cyclical. One is as inevitable as the other. You cannot escape either of them. I realise.
But such outward feeling of glee, is not what I am looking for. I do not mind being happy, I just... do not want it to be so very sophisticated. I merely want my profundity back.
P.S. Who ever would have thought being happy could be such predicament...?
I have not written anything that is nice enough, lately. I have not written at all. It is not just the writer's block. Because, I am not having trouble dressing my thoughts with words but, I have no thoughts to begin with. It is as if my mind is empty. I am not thinking anything. No reflections. No introspect.
This is not me. I am not liking this.
Am I saying I do not like being happy?
Sighs. I do not know. It is complicated. I just do not feel like my usual self. I feel over-dosed with happiness and everything else has crept away to the background. It is as if I no more have time to 'think', in my usual mellow manner. It is either I feel too happy to bother about other things, or I am too busy.
I am becoming like them, aren't I? Laugh. Love. Eat. Sleep. That is all. Tsk. No, this is not all. At least, it 'was' not before. My days had more to them that these mundanities. My nights were calmer, anguished sometimes, but calmer. Good or bad, I know not. But, they were more profound than now.
I feel so unreal. So mundane. Just like everybody else. Just like them. I have not cried in front of Him since weeks. Do I think my sins have been effaced? Do I think I have no reason to cry any more? Do I think I have been forgiven? Because everything is so perfect?
I am afraid. I am afraid of everything being just the way I want it to be. I am not thanking Him enough. And, these might as well be tests for me from Him. I am afraid, I will fail.
I am afraid of being happy. Because, I know. I know no happiness is everlasting. Happiness slurs over time and something else takes its place. That something frightens me. Happiness and sorrows play in a random loop. It is cyclical. One is as inevitable as the other. You cannot escape either of them. I realise.
But such outward feeling of glee, is not what I am looking for. I do not mind being happy, I just... do not want it to be so very sophisticated. I merely want my profundity back.
P.S. Who ever would have thought being happy could be such predicament...?
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Back view mirrors...
Can be magical.
♣♣♣♣♣♣
Raushan jamaal-e-yaar se hai anjuman tamaam
Dah'ka hu’aa hai aatish-e-gul se chaman tamaam
Hairat Ghuruur-e-husn se, shokhii se iztiraab
Dil ne bhii tere seekh liye hai'n chalan tamaam
Allah re husn-e-yaar kii khuubii ke khud-ba-khud
Rangiiniyo'n me'n duub gayaa pairahan tamaam
Dekho to husn-e-yaar kii jaaduu-nigaahiyaa'n
Behosh ek nazar me'n hu’ii anjuman tamaam
Thought of the day
This family, is one gorgeous-looking family, isn't it. Beautiful. Masha'Allah. *smiles*
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Down the memory lane...
As I was sifting through my old documents on my desktop, I found a folder that was copied from my notebook. It was the Oracle's folder. The oracle, you see, was (still is) the Lyceum's school yearbook/magazine.
Oh, I am still in love with Lyceum. I still miss it. Those two years were amongst the best years of my life. Crazy times.
Do you have any idea how many crushes I had and that too at the same time? Uhh.. Don't ask. *chuckles* There was the head boy, an A2 and then there was another A2 whom M. used to call 'malnutritioned gorilla' (haha, I have no idea why?). Umm... there was also a K&Ns in M's class, then there was another person in one of my classes. Then the A2s passed out and we were crowned A2s hence, two of my crushes were crushed, lol. I had to find replacements and luckily the juniors weren't 'all' a disappointment (although most of them were, trust me). So there were two A1s, who were super cute. Oh my God! One of them had a smile pasted on his face all the time and amazingly, that didn't look creepy at all. But the sad part was that I didn't even know his name. *frowns* I sound so.... Haha, whatever. Yes, and there was another A1 who had these awesome Italian looks. However, the awful part was that they were a year younger. Sighs. Lol.
But these were mere crushes, you see. *grins* I hold my esteem so very close to my heart. I have this air of supposed sophistication around me in front of others that often makes me appear arrogant and rude. It also makes me unapproachable. (Or so, have I heard).
Anyways, the folder had articles for the yearbook as well. There was this one particular article by me that couldn't be published because a) I had submitted it at the very last moment and b) Probably, it was.... too hard for Mrs. Khan to digest. Mrs. Khan was a .... I nicknamed her Cruella de Vil. Need I say more? Anyhow, so I was thinking of posting it here but... errr... I have an apprehension. However, I think I will. Soon.
'Tis
Blogging is unhealthy. It is, it is, it is! In social terms, that is.
Uh well... I'll explain later.
Uh well... I'll explain later.
Tsk Tsk...
You are supposed to say "jee" and not "han" or "hmm". What ever happened to your manners, badtameez larki.
Monday, October 18, 2010
Raat phaili hai tere surma'ee aa'nchal ki tarah...
Sighs. And then, there are songs that I'm hopelessly in love with.
Friday, October 15, 2010
A walk to remember
<3
I'm hardly half way through it, and my eyes are tearing up at every other scene. Even the ones that aren't so intense. This movie, it's magical.
Sighs.
I'm hardly half way through it, and my eyes are tearing up at every other scene. Even the ones that aren't so intense. This movie, it's magical.
Sighs.
Presages
Do you not see?
These are omens, bad omens.
Open your eyes. Open your mind. For God's sake.
These are omens, bad omens.
Open your eyes. Open your mind. For God's sake.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Farz karo...
Farz karo ham ahl-e-wafaa hon, farz karo deewaane hon
Farz karo ye donon baaten jhuuTii hon afsaane hon
Farz karo ye jii kii biptaa jii se jorr sunaayii ho
Farz karo abhii aur ho itnii aadhi ham ne chhupaayii ho
Farz karo tumhen khush karne ke dhuunde ham ne bahaane hon
Farz karo ye nain tumhaare sach-much ke maikhaane hon
Farz karo ye rog ho jhuutaa jhuutii peet hamaarii ho
Farz karo is peet ke rog mein saans bhi ham pe bhaari ho
Farz karo ye jog-bijog kaa hamne dhong rachaayaa ho
Farz karo bas yahii haqiiqat baaqii sab kuch maayaa ho
Will someone please get the butterflies out of my stomach?
Oh God!
Just don't sit in front of me like that. Please, please, please don't position yourself in my line of sight. You've no idea how... how maddening it is.
I feel suicidal now. Ahhh, I want to die.
*slaps herself real hard*
Snap out of it.
Sighhhhs.
Just don't sit in front of me like that. Please, please, please don't position yourself in my line of sight. You've no idea how... how maddening it is.
I feel suicidal now. Ahhh, I want to die.
*slaps herself real hard*
Snap out of it.
Sighhhhs.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Reminiscences
The cold night seemed to penetrate each and every pore of his body. The darkness of it, the coldness of it, formed a part of him. The mist shrouded him; he went out of sight for a second, and the next he was there again, standing. Gazing out in the vastness, his eyes fixed at an invisible point. One wondered if there was something he could see through such darkness lit by the faded moonlight, in vain.
And then, as if after eons, there was a movement. The neck slightly arched upwards. The moon- it appeared as a glowing smudge against a black chalkboard. The strong breeze was tearing his sight, or was it the reminiscence?
His grip on the iron railing grew stronger, the veins of his hands had suddenly become more obvious. His knees were perhaps refusing to hold his burden any longer. His lips were firmly pursed together. His brow very stern. His eyes growing warmer. His head bowed down and his eyes closed for the first time in ages. A warm drop of salt water escaped the inner corner of his eye and settled on his hand, just above his knuckles.
His eyes opened and caught the faint twinkle on his hand. A subtle but remorseful smile touched his lips. His head straightened back to the former position. His grip loosened. And, he gazed out in the vastness, his eyes fixed at an invisible point- yet again.
Somewhere nearby, a pair of brown eyes closed tightly in agony and a curtain fell down.
*********************************
Phir khayalon mein tere qurb ki khusbu jaagi
Phir barasne lagi aankhain meri baadal ki tarah...
Monday, October 11, 2010
The knowing...
Can you look right through me? Can you really read the faded engravings on my face that others cannot?
Is it that obvious? Or are you just a keen observer?
How can you read me? How can you discover what I've tried to veil ever since? How can you know?
You know who I am. You have found out what I had purposely concealed behind the curtains of my errors. And surprisingly, I am glad someone did. But, the someone would be you... I never thought like that.
How come they don't see it? How come? Those who proclaim their love for me, who profess to know me. Why can't they see what you saw?
You saw the real me. Is it the blood ties? No. It can't be. I'm tied with the same ribbons of blood to them as well but, they didn't see. You did.
How can I ever tell you how glad I feel? Knowing that someone knows who you really are despite being wrapped in a hundred veils, is elating.
Is it that obvious? Or are you just a keen observer?
How can you read me? How can you discover what I've tried to veil ever since? How can you know?
You know who I am. You have found out what I had purposely concealed behind the curtains of my errors. And surprisingly, I am glad someone did. But, the someone would be you... I never thought like that.
How come they don't see it? How come? Those who proclaim their love for me, who profess to know me. Why can't they see what you saw?
You saw the real me. Is it the blood ties? No. It can't be. I'm tied with the same ribbons of blood to them as well but, they didn't see. You did.
How can I ever tell you how glad I feel? Knowing that someone knows who you really are despite being wrapped in a hundred veils, is elating.
UW
Waterloo. *shakes head in despair* He is in Waterloo. *faint smile*
UW seems to ring so many bells.
Feels as if someone just scraped the scabs off my wounds.
Never mind. It's alright. I'm good. *smiles*
UW seems to ring so many bells.
Feels as if someone just scraped the scabs off my wounds.
Never mind. It's alright. I'm good. *smiles*
Voices inside my head...
They tell me... Yes. They tell me things that you don't know. That no one else does. Because you don't listen, do you? However, I do. And, they speak to me. I'm never alone. And, I am never quiet. Yes, my lips may seem still. Yet, I speak- with those voices inside my head. We talk about things. Things, that may be too commonplace for you. They aren't for us. Every thing has a story to tell, only if you're willing to listen.
Engravings
Aapka dil bohat bara hai magar mera nahin. Aap sab mauf karsakte hain magar mein nahin. Aap bohat aa'la zarf hain magar mein itna zarf kahan se la'on?
Woh loog tou mere qusurwaar bhi nahin, aapko he haq hai unhein mauf karna ka magar beharhaal mein unhain phir bhi mauf nahin karsakti us sab ke liye jo unhon ne aap ke saath kiya.
Mujhey sumujhna he nahin hain aapke khoon ke rishton ke falsafo'n ko. Khoon ka rishta hai tou kiya sirf aapka hai, unka koi rishta nahin? Mera rishta bhi hai tou sirf aapki waja se. Aap darguzar se kaam lain kion ke aap dil aur khoon ke hathon majboor hain. Meri aisi koi majboori nahin hai.
Rishton ko qa'im rakhne ke liye ehsaas darkaar hota hai, aur yahan... yahan tou ehsaas naam ki kisi chirya ka guzr he nahin howa kabhi.
Aap nibhaye yeh khoklay rishtey, mujhse nahin hosakta.
Izzat karna, beharhaal, mujhper wajib hai.
Woh loog tou mere qusurwaar bhi nahin, aapko he haq hai unhein mauf karna ka magar beharhaal mein unhain phir bhi mauf nahin karsakti us sab ke liye jo unhon ne aap ke saath kiya.
Mujhey sumujhna he nahin hain aapke khoon ke rishton ke falsafo'n ko. Khoon ka rishta hai tou kiya sirf aapka hai, unka koi rishta nahin? Mera rishta bhi hai tou sirf aapki waja se. Aap darguzar se kaam lain kion ke aap dil aur khoon ke hathon majboor hain. Meri aisi koi majboori nahin hai.
Rishton ko qa'im rakhne ke liye ehsaas darkaar hota hai, aur yahan... yahan tou ehsaas naam ki kisi chirya ka guzr he nahin howa kabhi.
Aap nibhaye yeh khoklay rishtey, mujhse nahin hosakta.
Izzat karna, beharhaal, mujhper wajib hai.
Friday, October 8, 2010
If I die young...
"Funny when your dead how people start listenin’..."
It's been ages and yet, I cannot cease to miss you. I wish I could have turned back the wheel of time and loved you so much more, so much more.
Did you really have to leave me, so soon?
I wish... But what does it matter now...?
Through the looking glass...
You are so beautiful...
So beautiful. Why did I not notice this before? How oblivious have I been to a reality as old as my existence.
Face, bathing in a surreal glow. Eyes, so deep, so intriguing; with a twinkle borrowed from stars on a darkest night. Lips, carved into a perfect shape.
A silhouette stood before a looking glass, and smiled an entrancingly ethereal smile...
So beautiful. Why did I not notice this before? How oblivious have I been to a reality as old as my existence.
Face, bathing in a surreal glow. Eyes, so deep, so intriguing; with a twinkle borrowed from stars on a darkest night. Lips, carved into a perfect shape.
A silhouette stood before a looking glass, and smiled an entrancingly ethereal smile...
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Whatever happened to creative writing...
*blinks in bewilderment*
Hellowww! I'm making a fool out of you. No. Actually, you, yourself, are making a fool out of yourself.
I write something; you read something and there is a huge difference between the two somethings.
What in the world am I trying to hint at? *rolls eyes*
********************************
Literature has an interesting trait, you see. It's open to interpretation. Way open. Two people will almost never see a piece of writing in the same light. We have this chronic habit of shedding the light of our own experiences/encounters and then giving the words our own translation. That's the most interesting thing about literature (or is it?).
********************************
I am trying to write something. Ughhh. Nothing's happening. I need magic.
Where's the magic?
********************************
You know, each and everyday, I am swarmed with thoughts; some scenes, some dialogues that I've never heard of or seen. There is usually no coherence between these events. They are usually random revelations. Without any connection. Mere figments of my imagination. My marvelous imagination.
I wish to write them all down. And then may be, some day link them together and discover a beautiful piece of art. May be, just may be.
*********************************
What the hell am I doing in an audit firm?
*********************************
I am a murderer. A ruthless murderer. I killed an artist.
*********************************
I'm out of titles
Sunday, 3rd October, 2010
Sigh. It's been days, yeah. Mm-hmm. So, where shall I start from? Nowhere, I suppose. (Let's skip the 'I've been busy and blah and blah and blah and further blah') *smiles*
When I logged in to blogger today, I was hoping to see a lot many posts that I could read but uhh... Well, there were only five on my dashboard. Disappointment.
I've been just a tad bit busy. Well, actually I've been more tired/lazy than busy hence, the absence. *smiles*
I wished to be here in a pleasant frame of mind which I've had lately. However, (don't you just hate howevers, buts, neverthelesses, athoughs, et cetera?) I'm not in a very pleasant mood, as of now. Ugh. This is so wrong! I've had an awesome weekend. Just one little thing has no right to ruin it all. I will not allow this. I will not....
Tuesday, 5th October, 2010
(contd.)
They say I'm very strong. I cannot decide whether it is a good thing, or bad. I'm not strong, my fury is. It seems to overpower each and every emotion. And, they need to be corrected. I do not excel at masking my emotions. If I did, would my annoyance have been that evident?
However, there's one good thing. My resentment is ephemeral. Well, that's about the only thing good about it.
I'll write a new post. I find this one weary.
Bye-bye, title-less post.
Sigh. It's been days, yeah. Mm-hmm. So, where shall I start from? Nowhere, I suppose. (Let's skip the 'I've been busy and blah and blah and blah and further blah') *smiles*
When I logged in to blogger today, I was hoping to see a lot many posts that I could read but uhh... Well, there were only five on my dashboard. Disappointment.
I've been just a tad bit busy. Well, actually I've been more tired/lazy than busy hence, the absence. *smiles*
I wished to be here in a pleasant frame of mind which I've had lately. However, (don't you just hate howevers, buts, neverthelesses, athoughs, et cetera?) I'm not in a very pleasant mood, as of now. Ugh. This is so wrong! I've had an awesome weekend. Just one little thing has no right to ruin it all. I will not allow this. I will not....
Tuesday, 5th October, 2010
(contd.)
They say I'm very strong. I cannot decide whether it is a good thing, or bad. I'm not strong, my fury is. It seems to overpower each and every emotion. And, they need to be corrected. I do not excel at masking my emotions. If I did, would my annoyance have been that evident?
However, there's one good thing. My resentment is ephemeral. Well, that's about the only thing good about it.
I'll write a new post. I find this one weary.
Bye-bye, title-less post.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Absence
My dear, let me make this very clear for you. So, that there remains no doubt, no second thought. You are but just a single person amongst a pond of beloveds. Just a single person, you see. A VIP, although. However, a VIP amongst other VIPs, you see.
Your presence is overwhelming and you are very well aware. However, your absence- physical or mental- will eventually be curtained by those who are there- while you aren't. I shall be at a loss, but rest assured that it'd be momentary. Momentary, for me, that is.
I shall survive. And not just survive, I shall also be distracted. Happy, in other words. All of us shall live a very pleasant life hopefully. I'm certainly hopeful for myself at least, however about you, I don't seem to have any idea.
I've done my maths. You should do yours, my dear friend.
Your presence is overwhelming and you are very well aware. However, your absence- physical or mental- will eventually be curtained by those who are there- while you aren't. I shall be at a loss, but rest assured that it'd be momentary. Momentary, for me, that is.
I shall survive. And not just survive, I shall also be distracted. Happy, in other words. All of us shall live a very pleasant life hopefully. I'm certainly hopeful for myself at least, however about you, I don't seem to have any idea.
I've done my maths. You should do yours, my dear friend.