Let me count the ways...

Let's see how uneventful (read: humdrum, in its most superlative degree) my life is:

• I don't hang out with friends. Used to hang out with cousins, but it just doesn't happen anymore. And, I miss it.
• I don't go out for shopping. I intend on buying a lot of stuff but it never really materializes. I somehow always feel too tired when asked if I'd like to go on a shopping spree.
• I cannot really remember when was the last time I went out to have a decent dinner. Oh wait, I just remembered, it was on October. 
• I don't chit chat with my friends for long hours on the phone. I used to once, but not any more.
• I don't use facebook, msn messenger, skype or any other similar social networking mundanities. I've (dormant, or partially dormant) accounts everywhere, though.
• I watch tv or sit in front my computer when and if I've some free time.
• On being asked what I watch on tv, I answer, 'uh.. nothing in particular. Everything, actually."
• I've really stopped talking to people, because I've become severely irritable.
• For the same reason, people have stopped liking me. This should have happened quite a long time back, but hey, people around me are extra-ordinarily kind. God bless them. (And, as for those who haven't yet somehow stopped liking me- I treat them pretty severely.)
• I don't have a hobby any more. I don't draw. I don't paint. I don't do anything at all. Nothing. I don't even like chocolates anymore. Not that it was a hobby, but anyways- just for the sake of mentioning.

I managed to come up with ten things. Huh, lovely! Even turtles have a life more eventful than mine.

Sighs. 

Why so serious, my friend?

Fed smashed Wawrinka with such ease. Oh it was lovely watching the match!

Well, I woke up for Fajr (which I haven't been doing lately- God! Why have I started missing my prayers).  And then, didn't go back to bed because... oh well, it doesn't really concern you so why bother knowing? (I don't want to burden your little brains with an overdose of information, see I'm kind enough.) So anyways, I switched on the TV, and after skipping a few useless channels, star sports popped up and I realised, 'oye! it's tuesday! Aaj tou match tha!' Khair, it turned out I was fairly lucky as the match had just started.

Let's thank Z, for Z was the reason  I didn't go to bed after Fajr.

Something really funny happened on the breakfast table. Something nahin, something(s) actually.  Hehe.

I'm a chatter-box as you must have ascertained already. A very choosy and reserved chatter-box, though. *grins*

Incident # I:

Discussing politics. ******************** This info is censored *************** Hehe. Khair, then papa says to mum. "bas Sindhi's are a very lazy qaum". Well, he actually said 'had-haram". Lol.

I said to ammi in a low voice, "Bilkul papa, mujhe he dekh lain."

I called my self  a 'had-haram'.

Mum burst into (subdued) laughter.

Papa didn't notice and went on, "Achay khaasay parhay likhay lougon ka bhi ye hi haal hai."

Me ( still in a lowly voice): "Wahi tou mein keh rahi hon"

Mum: still laughing.

Papa: "And especially, interior side per tou bohat zyada aisa hai"

Me: "Nope papa, baray baray shehron mein rehne walon ka bhi yehi haal hai, khud he dekh lain."

Mum: laughing

Papa: "Aur sab se buri baat interior ki ke mard bethay hotey hain aur unki wives are forced to do the odd jobs"

Mum, stops laughing and objects: "Na sa'iin, this is true for the Riyastiis only."

Me: "Ha, ha, Sindhyon ki tou wives bhi ghar per bethi rehti hain"

Mum goes into a fit of laughter. And, this time papa asks what is she laughing about.

Hehe.

I can be a clown.

Incident # 2:

 I was paka-ing ammi on how happy I'm that I didn't sleep and got to watch the match. So, I was telling her and everybody else (including papa) how Wawrinka smashed his racquet and how it got totally bent. And this is how it went on:

Me: So it was a fiber racquet na, that's why it didn't snap into two. But he threw it so hard, uff.... it folded into half. Per ammi I don't like it when players throw their bats or racquets, it's not un-sportsmen-like.

Ammi, who was silently listening to me babble, uttered:

'Jaani, yeh tou kuch bhi nahi. Had you been in their place, my child, you would have thrown your gears not on the ground, but aimed them at your opponent's face. Sar phaar dena tha tum ne tou unka.'

Uff... Everybody started laughing so bad. I was so embarrassed. *smiles sheepishly*

Haye Allah! I'm so notorious.

Sighs.

♥

Cyber world is creepy.

Z could have been a hacker, and that too a successful one.

I was having an issue while running a file, so I bugged Z to resolve that. Z asked me to connect my phone to the computer. I did. Z established a connection with my system through my phone's GPRS using an SSL. Din Diharay intrusion, woh bhi with my permission. *worried* Well, it wasn't din diharay, to be precise.

Anyways, so Z actually used my system right in front of my eyes. I could see my mouse cursor moving, and windows popping in and out. It was kind of creepy, really.

Once Z was done, I shrieked, "Get out of my computer. Now!" To which, Z couldn't help, but laugh.

Any-the-how, I have got so many games stacked up. I'v got:

i) NFS Hot Pursuit- Reloaded -- They launched a sequel to Hot Pursuit. Yay!! And what's the best part? The cops have cars faster than yours. Haha. And what the best-est? You can choose sides. Double Yay!! You can either be a cop or a racer. I'll be a racer, zahir hai!

ii) Call of Duty 4 - Yes, yes. I know it's old. I haven't played yet. So, it's new for me. You may shut up now. *grins*

iii) Black Ops - This is last year's too.

iv) AOE III - Okay. I know this is way old. But, there's a long story associated with the reason why haven't I completed it yet. So, anyways I'll complete it this time, Insha'Allah.

So, you see. I've been totally out of the gaming scene. Way out. I've lots of catching up to do. Haye!! When will I get to play? *sad face*  ACCA has ruined me. It has. It has. I hate it. And, to top it off, I'm working. Sighs. Once I'm done with ACCA, I'll do a degree in journalism/ mass comm. or textile designing may be. Or... something really weird. Or, I'll just get married. Haha.

OYE!!!!!!!

I'm going to be a phupho again!!! Like after around 15 years. Whoa. Although, I've had a good lot of nieces and nephews in the past decade, but they are my cousins' kids. However, this time it's my pagal brother (the second one). Triple Yay!!!  I'm so happy. Masha'Allah. Masha'Allah.

But then, he's so far away. *sad face* *slaps herself* Don't be sad, you idiot.

Let's think of names! If it's a boy, we can name him Zain-ul-Abideen, or *snaps fingers* Kazim, or I don't know.... waysay, I loveeee the name Abbas, but we already have an Abbas in our family.

If it's a girl, we can name her Fizza? Err... I can't think of many girl names... However, there's this one name that's jumping up and down inside my head. However, nope. Not that. Because, I've saved that name for my daughter. *curls toes* (If ammi finds this out, I'm so roasted.)

I don't know. Will you help? Waysay I'm being too impatient, because there's plenty of time to come up with good names for my niece/nephew. May everything go perfectly fine, Ameen.

What's wrong with Federer, man!? *shakes head* I think his reign might just be getting over. Anyways, I like Rafa too. So, I'm happy as long as one of them keeps winning the day.

This was too long. Phew. I talk too much. Don't I? Z says I talk non-stop (whenever I do, that is). I gotta go. I need to drink water. My throat feels all parched up. *makes a weird face*

*grins*

P.S. I've been feeling like a kid, lately. And, my posts reflect that. Hmm. No clue, what's up.

P.P.S. Furree Katt, I read all your comments, and it was actually fun because I got to read my old posts. Rest assured, I will reply to your comments *winks* as I have a thing for commenting. *grins* Thank you so very much.

I love my cousins.

Random title, I know.

Whenever I see numbers, in places where words should have been, I take them to be a ciphered text. Therefore, I tend to waste a lot of time deciphering them. And, usually fail. I'm terrible at deciphering codes. *smiles sheepishly*

I'm happy. My world's happy. Masha'Allah. I've awesome parents. Awesome brothers/sisters (Ok, my sisters are a little less than awesome, may be. Haha.) I wish they don't read this, otherwise I'll be more dead than I'm already. Younger sisters, sighs. Well, the feeling is mutual. They sigh at me too. *winks* Okay- Back to the awesome-ness list now. Awesome cousins. Awesome khandaan (well, except for a few dehshat-gard anasir). Hehe. If ammi jani reads/ hears (about) this, I'll be in trouble.

Well, once I was speaking to Shayan, a fellow trainee, about my cousins. And, guess what he said? He asked me if I was close to my cousins. I said yes, of course. He said he wasn't. He told me he met his cousins occasionally. On Eids and baraats, may be. I was like, 'whoa, really?' He said, he missed the fact that he didn't have such close ties with his family. I found it sad. But then, I know A LOT of people who never talk about their cousins and all (because, they don't interact much). M. nevers talks about her cousins, neither does Sh, not even Arw. Just me and Fofo, we are the ones gabbing about how fun our cousins are, et cetera, et cetera.

So, you see. My life's good. Masha'Allah.

I just whine, for the sake of it. Because, it kind of feels nice, you see. And then, everything isn't happy-happy always, right. There are downturns. Sad moments. Irritable moments. Angry moments! But, on the whole, everything's great. Alhumdolillah.

It's just that I'm a cynic. I'm sarcastic. Oooh. Way sarcastic, to be true! I can kill you with sarcasm. Beware, mine is not a comic version of sarcasm. It's bitter and very rude. However, cheer up- I won't kill you. Because, I'm not sarcastic all the time.

I can even make you laugh your lungs out but that happens very rarely. And, with a very few people only.

Ever heard about 'the look'? I can give you 'the look', that will make you believe it's all your fault. That you're so horrible. So awful. You may not admit, but you'll feel so damn bad. *smiles*

And when I'm up to something mischievous, Z says I get that roguish twinkle in my eyes that will tell you I'm up to something. My eyes let everything out, which isn't a good thing really. *frowns*

I can even make you cry.

By the way, it all sounds as if I do all this knowingly. However, that's not how it is. All these things were told to me by others. So, I didn't really know I could do so many things. *grins*

Anyways, enough with randomness. I'll end this post. And, write another one, may be. I'm in a mood for blogging (read: babbling/ranting/whining). Right now, I will have an orange, actually two, and go sit with papa for a while.

Ok, see you!

Over the phone...

(This conversation was in Sindhi except for a few words, however I shall translate it into English actually Urdu, will sound less fun in English.)

Z: "Yar boss ke bhai ki shaadi hai. I'm confused. Ja'on ke nahin?"

Me: "Go, bha'ee! Iss mein confuse honey ki kya baat hai..."

Z: "Uff... Chelum nahin howa!!"

Me: "Ohhhh.... Sorry. Sorry. It skipped my mind. Don't go, bha'ee! (Iss mein confuse honey ki kya baat hai...)" *grins*

Z: "Skipped your mind. Hmm... matlab tum tou phir sab kuch karti hogi... Yaad jo nahin rehta hoga ke chehlum nahin guzra"

Me: "JEE NAHIN!!"

Me: "Acha khairrrrr... Excuse ker lo"

*Insert a weird pause*

Z: "Kya kar lon??"

Me: "EXCUSE!!"

Z: "EXCUSE? Ohh..... I thought you said 'sue' kardo!"

Me: "What?!"

*Insert an incontrollable laughter*

Z: "Sue kardon ke chehlum se pehle shaadi kaise rakhi... Haha"

Me: "Hahahahaha..."

It's BJ's birthday today.... But it's Safar and then my turtle died . So, nothing special going on.

...

Aslan died...

He died. I'm still looking at him again and again, hoping against hope that he might just move. He was my friend. Actually, the only friend at home these days, for the fact that I've been bickering with everyone else at home. He was the best. Didn't used to say a word. Just used to hear me out quietly, screaming his name to wake him up each morning before leaving for work and every evening after returning from work. I used to actually spend hours with him. I literally used to lose track of time.

I miss him. I wept so much. I wanted to cry just the way I used to when I was a kid and complain to Allah Saa'iin. Just the way I complained, when Nida died in a car crash in Riyadh. Just the way I complained, when Amma jaan died. But, I cannot. Because, I have grown-up. I know I cannot complain, because I have no such right. All these people (and now Aslan) belonged to Him more than they did to me. They were never mine. They were and are His creatures, since always. 

Z asked me, if I wanted another turtle. I replied with a blunt 'no', I said I shall think about it after the winters were over. It isn't about a turtle - any turtle. It was about Aslan. 

What will I tell Eeman and Amnah, when they'll ask me about Aslan? 

Why did you have to die, my friend?

I'm sorry, Aslan. May be I didn't take enough care of you...

Sighs.

Subha Saweray

Something is awfully wrong with me. I feel so irritable. All I do is pick up fights with everyone. S, ZB, ami, Z, every one. Actually I don't really pick fights, I just... I've just become very touchy. I hate don't like anyone anymore. Why am I feeling no one really likes me either these days, but for Z?

Sighs. I'm sounding like a stupid teenager who knows nothing but to whine (No offence, though).

Ughhh.

Sad, no?

People are so shallow. I'm not. This is one thing I'll bet my life on. I'm not shallow. Neither is my thinking. However, people usually are quite the contrary.

Ally

You're missed.

Honest.

I remember

It was a beautiful day. The sea was calm. The wind was soothing. Everything looked just about perfect.

A beautiful child, busy with her own little self, was playing on the shore. Sea fascinated her- always. It scared her a little too, though. She loved how the waves tickled her bare feet but the little crabs that washed up the shore frightened her. The fact that they had so many legs sounded creepy to her.

However, for the time being all she was interested in were sea shells. While picking up shells from the shore, she found something that looked like a tiny but a fat frisbee, yet was too soft to be that. What seized her attention was the fact that it was transparent- absolutely crystal clear. She could see the sand right through it. She picked it up in her hands and felt it. It was soft and wobbly just like jelly. She took it and ran towards her father.

'Papa jani, look what I found.'

Her face lit up with triumph over her discovery.

'What is this thing?'

'I don't know, I found it lying there.'

She pointed with her little fingers towards the the place where she found the curious object  .

'Throw it away, love. It's a jelly fish. It might sting you.'

She was told.

She looked at it for the last time and threw it away into the water, just as she was told.

However, someone inside her head kept asking her over and over again, 'how can something so beautiful sting you' and so she wondered.

Off-road

I want to drive off-road. There's no fun driving 'on' the road.

Umm... I like to walk off-road as well.

Seedhe sapaat tar-coal ki sar'kon per chalne ka kya maza? Mujhey oobar khabar raasto'n aur kachi pagdandiyo'n  per chalna pasand hai. *grins* Aur sab se zyada maza tab ata hai jab chalte howe qadmo'n ke neeche aaney waley sookhay patay ehtajaj karney ki nakaam koshish karahe hon. *smiles*

And, I don't like walking straight too.

So, if and when you walk with me, know that it isn't going to be an easy one- unless you share my kind of crazy whims.

[Image courtesy: weheartit]

Of fools and love...

They say I'm a fool because I'm a lover, and that too an unconditional one. I love people regardless of any and everything. Is that foolishness, you tell me?

And the happiness decides to go topsy-turvy

Meri saari khushi per pani gira diya na. Woh bhi thanda. Despite knowing that I don't like water.

I played table tennis after sooooo long. I played after what.... two years. And, guess what I did? I won three matches in a row. Aur woh bhi mujhse baray baray logon se! I was so happy.

Khair, life's weird.



P.S. Khoobsurat loog zaalim kion hotey hain!

Chronicles of Ann, the Outlandish- FILTERED!

I knew I shouldn't have told you. I knew it all along. And, yet I did. I am so naive. Well actually, naive is a very decent word. I am an idiot. Yes, that sounds much better.

I wish I could have talked to you about any and every thing. I wish I didn't have to filter my chronicles, my stories before narrating them to you.

I talk too much, no. I won't now. At least, I'll try not too.

You lied, you know. We aren't friends. We can never be.

And, isn't that a tragedy?

*smirks*

Abbass ki nazron se koi parh ke tou dekhe...

Ehsaas ki ek Nehj-e-Balagha hai Sakina(SA)

Iss baat se mehsoos karo kya hai Sakina

Abbas (AS) ke honton ka qasida hai Sakina

Aina-e-Zehra(SA) mein jo dekha tera bachpan

Har aks pukara ke tuu Zehra(SA) hai Sakina

Jo pyaar ke parcham ki alamdaar hai ab tak

Abbas ki woh pyari Sakina hai Sakina

Abbas ki nazron se koi parh ke tou dekhe

Ehsaas ki ek Nehj-e-Balagha hai Sakina

Jo mashk mein bhar sakta hai dunya ke samandar

Kaunain mein bas woh tera saqqa hai Sakina

Har umr ke Haider(AS) ne jhulaya tera jhula

Yeh Auj faqat tuu ne he paya hai Sakina

Darya ke lab nouk-e-qalam chuum rahey hain

Meine abhi likha nahin, soocha hai Sakina

Rehan ki suurat woh sarafraz rahega

Jis ne teri dehleez ko chuuma hai Sakina

Abbas ke honton ka qasida hai Sakina...

Green-eyed monster

"You know what's the best thing about you?"

"What?"

"That you don't envy anyone!"

"Err... No. I do."

"What?"

"Yes, I do. I do get jealous." 

"...."

"But only when someone gets my share of love or attention. I go green with envy. I don't like it. I hate it."

"And do you know what's the funniest (weirdest) part? I don't hate the person who gets my share of love or attention. I hate the person who gives my share away."

"(...) Pagal!"

*sniffs*

Aaj kal tou sirf daant he khanay ko mil rahi hai. (Taqreeban) har baat per. Baqi sab kuch tou umr-e-guzishta ke qissay lag rahe hain.

*hmph*

Sitaarey gardish mein hain shayad.... *wonders*

*smiles*

Turtle woes.

Aslan is sick, I think. All he does is sleep. It's worrying me.

Her awesome-ness says...

I am AWESOME!

*winks*

Are you happy now?

Wafa karoge, wafa karainge

Jafa karoge, jafa karainge

Hum aadmi hain tumhare jaise

Jo tum karoge, woh hum karainge...

P.S. I don't know whose ruba'ii is this. But, it was narrated by my Sr. Manager only yesterday during his 'lecture' to us trainees. 

A cold winter's morning

I wish I was a cold winter morning.

Very cold- The one that makes you cross your arms and hide them in each other.

For whatever it's worth

I've become weak, very weak and fragile and, it occurred to me only lately. I have lost most of my strength; the edge that I once had. I was a fighter once. I'm not anymore (Although, I'd like to believe otherwise).  Frankly speaking, I've lost the intensity, the indomitability. I may still appear very firm but believe me when I say, it's a hoax; a sham.

I've lost myself- lost myself in time.

When people used to shout at me, I used to shout back at them with double force. And now, at times, when someone shouts at me, I look into their eyes with disbelief. I neither find the willingness nor the ability to shout back. I merely stare at them for a moment, hoping their lips would move in an apology or a half (which rarely happens, though). Something snaps inside me and tells me to walk away. And, walk away, I do.

Walking away- and who would have though AH, you could learn to walk away? Ha.

I don't know who needs me or not, anymore. I cannot even shrug everything off saying, 'To hell with everything, I'll live my own life'. Because, I cannot. I cannot live my own life. I don't even have my own life. I've sewn my life in an intricate web. I'm so hopelessly dependent upon others that I cannot imagine a life without them. If they aren't there; I'm not here. I cannot just let them go. And, I don't have to anyways. Nobody has asked me too. I'm just being a jerk and that's about it.

I'm not bad. I'm not an awful person. I am sick of telling myself how awful, how bad, a person I am. Because, I'm not.  And, I need someone to tell me this. Someone- but not just anyone. I don't need random people (friends and acquaintances) telling me how good I am. Because, I don't care what they've to say. Because, it doesn't matter.

I am tired, really. Tired of all the running I've been doing lately. I cannot match my pace with life anymore. It's too fast for me. My lungs are running out of air now. I know I would have to continue running to catch up with life but, I don't want to run. I want to walk, with steady steps. I'm in no hurry to catch up with everyone, with the world. I don't like this world, anyways. It's a little too strikingly coloured for my taste, you see.

I have no idea what is this all about. It doesn't make any sense to me and so, shouldn't make any to you either. This is gibberish; and that too, an incoherent one.

I'm absurd. Outrightly. No doubts.

Sha'Khaz-zaarber

...Anwer bhai uttered to me in a full-on pashtu accent.

I felt a little lost for a moment. I, despite having a fascination for the language, don't understand Pashtu. Hence, had no idea what he meant.

However, after a while of conjecturing and an attempt to put things into context, I finally deciphered what he said.

He said...

'Shock-Absorber'.

"Bhai yeh awaz kis cheez ki arahi hai?"


"Baaji, yeh dekhana paray ga. Yeh awaz ya tou bearing ka araha hai ya tou sha'khaz-zaarber ka."

Yes. Yes. I'm silly. But he made it sound like a Pashtu/Farsi word or something, I swear. Not entirely my fault , bha'ee.

*smiles*