It's BJ's birthday today.... But it's Safar and then my turtle died . So, nothing special going on.

Happy Ann...

Happy Annnnn...

Itni saari knives/slicer... I wonder if it was a cake or a bakra? *chuckles* 

I've had one of the most loveliest birthdays yesterday. It was great. Only yesterday was I musing how no one brings birthday cakes for me and I've to buy it for myself (or go with papa jani, when he's here). And, yesterday only K. api brought me  a cute sa, chhota sa cake. To top it off, that too a  pineapple cake. Well, I've been craving for a pineapple cake for quite a few days and have been too lazy to buy it for myself. So, coincidentally K. api bought it for my birthday. (Okay may be facebook isn't all that bad, lol). 

Too many bingos for one day, no. I guess it was the birthday magic (working in the right direction). *smiles*

I cut two cakes yesterday. One in the evening, because I was too hungry. And, the other one just 20 minutes before the clock struck mid-night. *smiles*

Life couldn't get any sweeter. (At least, that's what Hobnob says.)

♦

However, I cried last night. I cried like I've never before in months (or years, may be). I poured my heart out for the first time in twenty one years. I was reminded of every single shard of glass that has been stuck in my chest since ever - as far as I can go down my memory lane. And, every single shard hurt me as potently as day one. And, I cried. And, you cried with me. I cried till my eyes swelled up. Till my lungs went out of air and I gasped. I cried till I yexed.  Remembering everything, and not just remembering it but narrating everything was excruciating. Agonizing. But I cried. Because, I knew this might as well be the last time I'm crying over my wounds. Because, this might as well be the last time I felt those shards, felt the agony. Because, I knew my heart was bleeding for one last time as you yanked out the broken pieces of the glass from my chest- one by one- forever. It was painful. But, it was worth the pain. 

Catharsis.

This morning is a lot brighter. A lot clearer. A lot lighter.

Sweet November

I've had a wonderful Eid masha'Allah. Even the third day, which usually goes boring went really great. We barbecued at BJ's place last night. I smelled like a smoked charcoal by the end. But, I had a great time. *smiles* Missed papa jani and Bj a lot though.

Oh! And, last night Z. told me something that really lift me off the ground and into the air. I felt elated, in its most superlative form. *grins* Not that I didn't know this already but it feels great when certain kinds of facts are cited to you and that too, out of the blue (it rhymes). And, it was kind of abrupt and unanticipated too. *smiles*

Z. told me that I'm Bj's favourite. As I already said, it's something that I've known but it has never been mentioned to me in such manner. I know both, Bj and BJ (and even papa) love me like anything. Z. was right in saying that I'm so fortunate that everybody loves me (well, everybody except for me). Z. told me Bj, when he was here, always used to speak about me and the love with which he spoke of me, that's what coaxed Z. to blurt it out to me. (Blurting it out after so many years, God! Z. you have to be insane.)

I'm too awful to be loved but I guess these guys are just not sane enough to see that. Sighs.

But then, there's something about me, right. *shakes head and smiles*

Happy birthday, my love. Happy birthday.

I've had a lovely day masha'Allah. I miss papa. He always forgets our birthdays. Ami has to remind him to wish us. But he's too sweet. *gives a wide smile* Papa tells me, when I was born I was way too awake than the usual newly born babies. My eyes were wide open and they moved around the room like search lights. My eyes. Hm! My Lord has been generous with me. *grins*

Dear winter, come let's be friends. You haven't been all that bad this year. I think I can love you just the way I used to once. Be with me. And, be mine.

You-'I'-me-'Miss'-we-'You' us...

Happy Birthday Bj. May you have many many many more. May God always bless you.

I love you. And, (I miss you).

Paghal.

Mid-September night dreams..

Or was it mid-summer...? *grins*

Happy Birthday Z.
(Still a few minutes left for the date to bid farewell, till next year)

I wish you all the happiness in life. I pray to God that every single wish of yours may come true in a manner that is even more wonderful than what you hoped for.

Little Z.

Happy Birthday ZB., my little monster a.k.a sister.

It's her birthday today. My little sister (is not so little anymore) *smiles* I can't say she's my favourite. S. will kill me if I do. *grins* But I love her, that I know. Despite all those times that she has ired me to the extent of insanity.

I remember when she was a kid and so was I. I defended all her mistakes and badtameezi's. I remember how I used to annoy all my cousins with my unreasonable defending. It used to anger me when anyone scolded her. I used to lose it there and then. Oh! Her silky jet black bob-cut hair and her tomato-coloured apple-like cheeks. She was sooo cute and gol matol. Ab tu puri Bil Batori ban gayi hai.  I have kind of spoiled her, you know. But khair hai...  *smiles*

Salgirah Mubarak, dear Z.