Thursday, November 4, 2010

Who's going to tell me what I want?

Somebody?

Anybody?

Sighs. I'm confused. I don't know. I cannot decide if I want to continue what I am doing right now. I cannot even decide if I like my work. I thought I had till December to come up with a decision but I'm surmising, I don't. They are converting my internship contract into a three-year contract for my articles, earlier than expected. Err... I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I cannot decide. Three-years.... it's too long. It's a big four firm but.... (to hell with the big four ranking). It's not about the firm's ranking. It's about what I want. And, I don't know what I want. Is this what I want? Being an auditor (or the likes)? How can I be so boring? So uncreative? 'Creativity' is an offense in this field. One has to live by the defined principles. You cannot digress. You cannot think on your own. Okay, I'm in Risk Advisory (it's a lot better than audit) but... uh. I never even wanted to work a job, in the first place. It's not even a part of my long-term goals. (Do I even have long-term goals?). I just want to complete my studies and then, unwind. Working..... I don't know. But... if this is not what I want then why the bloody hell am I so confused? Why don't I just decline? Why can I not decide? Oh Lord! Help me...... I feel like breaking down.

7 comments:

Ess.See. said...

I once heard this in a movie, "you know what women's problem is? the problem is that they don't know their problem." i find it so true, lol.

Anonymous said...

Everything turns out for the better...

Sunkee Ann said...

@ Sid: *smiles sheepishly* I can't say about others but this seems pretty much true for me, right now. :$

@ Anonymous: Yes, but... Uhh I'm confused.

majworld said...

hey ann :)..i think u shud go for it..a great opportunity..u ll start liking it..i can understand all what u hve written..but may be after taking actions we can know how things are, not before that.
Read 2 nafal istikhara prayer nd read istikhara dua at the end and pray for betterness before deciding. Then take the decision. Then the decision would be better one. Gudluck.

Sunkee Ann said...

@ majworld: heyyy majworld :) Hmmmm.... I shall try. At least, I won't regret not having given it a try.

majworld said...

ya, u shud..one of top 4..wow..u shud feel lucky :)..feel it...:)

Sunkee Ann said...

Err... lucky? Uhh... acha *tries to feel it* lol

Post a Comment