Grey hair

I need an apology. An honest unconditional apology in which a person apologizes not because one thinks the other person needs to hear an apology.

But an apology where the person admits, acknowledges, accepts the wrongs (direct or indirect, intentional or unintentional) and therefore(!), apologizes.

Nobody's sorry. One ought to be.

I kissed ammi and papa today and told them one by one that I love them. Ammi said she loved me too, and papa just asked why, so I told him because he's too cute.

BJ won't be coming for the wedding. I'll rather he comes for S's in December. So, I'll compromise on that. Well, not that I had another option.

I feel like quitting my job. Not because it sucks, it's great. But because I cannot juggle life together with my job anymore. It's too taxing.

I don't look at myself in the mirror much these days. But I did catch a glimpse of my hair a couple of days ago for it to hit me that it has turned even grey-er than I last remember.

I'm not going to get them dyed. My grey hair are my souvenirs, they'll help me remember what I've been through. I have a nostalgic bond with them.

B is extremely ignorant. Ignorance is bliss, they say, so good for him.

S's in-laws seem to be good people. I hope they always stay good with/ to her, inshaAllah.

I've started stress eating a lot lately.

Why do people have to take away the happiness out of my happy moments? Why do these moments tend to get ruined for me?

I wish B was on my side. Not to fight against the rest of world for me, if that's not possible. But to put a hand on my shoulder, and tell me that he's there with me and he understands - understands that the world is being tough on me.

But no. He had to be on the other side. He's not the hand on my shoulder, he's one of the fingers raised at me.

I'm angry. There are times when I can feel my blood boiling.

I should calm down. Because this is life now.