Sighs.
People.
Why do they have to be so shallow?
I don't like a lot of people. Most of the people. Let's just say I don't like people. And well, I don't think they deserve to be liked. All my hate for humankind is pretty justified I guess.
How can their minds and souls be so polluted?
Nothing you do can raise you in their eyes. You are a wounded fawn and they are hyenas waiting, just waiting for you to wear out.
I wish I could live in a burrow. I don't want to meet people, talk to them, befriend them. I don't know where have I come from. If I am from here only, then why am I not like the usual crowd.
I cannot take all this. I can feel fear slowly creeping into me. I've started doubting and reassessing myself for everything. I knew I was never a good person. But that was just about it. I wasn't evaluating every action of mine. I wasn't doubting myself for every word someone said about me. It didn't bother me. I wasn't afraid of being judged. And now, I am. I feel vulnerable.
I don't want people to see me. To talk about me. Not even say good things about me. I've lost faith in everything. I don't trust anyone.
I putting up a good show of strength and all. But I don't know how long can I feign. My shield's broken; and the spears are coming in fast and too harsh in my direction.
I think I once knew where my solace was, but I'm not sure anymore.
I know Allah saa'een doesn't burden a soul with more than it can bear; am I really so strong then? How old am I, twenty two? Was it really necessary for me to know so much about people so soon? Couldn't all these illuminating discoveries have waited for me to actually grow up?
If only I was bunny, living in my comfy burrow somewhere under the ground. I'm tired. Honestly, I am. It's always the same thing, the same level of shallowness; with new faces only. Why in the heck have I not gotten immune to all this?
I feel so poisonous; I'm afraid I might begin to poison everything else around me as well.
