Idher udher ki baatain

*frowns*

The mausam is so ajeeeeb-o-ghareeb. Was I not feeling lazy enough already, huh? I'm wearing socks because my feet get really cold lekin no faida- socks bhi thanday hogaye hain. *makes an angry face* Right now, I want to shout out so very loudly and say, 'kya hai yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar!'. I'm feeling frustrated. Aiween mein. Majlis sunne ke liye ja nahin sakte. TV per koi majlis aa nahin rahi. There's nothing to do. Aur jo hai karne ko woh mujhe karna nahin hai- study, I mean. I cannot study. *sobs* Exam hai Tuesday ko. I feel like crying. I've reached a saturation point with regards to parhai. Eik cheez parh parh ke my mind's going wacko.

Thought of adding this random photo that I just took right now. (I was trying to study, you see *smiles sheepishly*) Okay, let me describe it to you (as I've nothing better, or worse, to do). That is my highlighter, (shall I tell you how much I adore fluorescent ink/things? I like how it hurts your eyes when you stare too hard at it). With the highlighter lies the purple pointer. Purple ink is cool too. Then there is my lousy red pouch that holds my fuzool stationery these days. On top of it lies my favourite item. Fluorescent index flags! Err... I love them too much to use them. *blushes* Crazy, I know. For some loco reason I like hoarding stationery only (not using it). Then there's the ugly gray calculator. Mera nahin hai. Sister's! Mine is khaak chaan-ing somewhere around the house. Anyways, then there's the pencil that is equally ugly except for the little orange part. Woh black and white thing is my lousy phone case. I've no idea what's that hair clip doing over there. Then there's the stupid chapstick. It's rose flavoured but I don't like it. Random question: "Can you tell which is my favourite colour?" Hint: "It's the most ubiquitous colour in the photo."

Let's forget about the photo now. I don't really like taking a shower. *curls toes* What? I don't. Because, I don't like water. Why? Because, you get wet, duh! And cold too. Han, if the water is warm then I can put up with it. But still, I'm no fan. And then, sardiyon mein tou bilkul bhi nahin. I wish I had some machine that would've allowed me to dry clean myself.

My hands are cold usually. Not just in winters, but otherwise too. B. and A. joke about it and say that's because I'm a 'bewafa'. It's said that people with cold hands are disloyal supposedly. *shrugs* I laugh it off. But sometimes, I pray to Allah sa'iin under my breath to never allow me to be disloyal. I can never be disloyal. Never. That's something even the mere thought of which frightens me. I might be an awful person. Way more awful than I suppose but, I shall never be unfaithful.

I had chai paratha for dinner. *grins* Weird? Nope. That's the most adored item on, not just my home's but, my khandaan's menu. Jab kuch sumujh na aye chai paratha kha lo. Easy breezy. I cannot make a 'paratha'. I mean, I haven't tried making it. I was planning to, tonight but didn't. *frowns* I want to learn to make a paratha like a pro.

I haven't studied even a tad bit today. I don't feel like studying anymore. I've been overtaken by ambivalence once again. It's about my internship. I hate it when I feel so indecisive. I wish I was a little decisive. I wish I wouldn't need other people to guide me. I'm twenty one and I still need people to hold me by my finger and walk me everywhere. (Ufff ami, papa, bj+bj,  if only you people hadn't pampered- read spoiled- me this much). Either this era isn't the right era for me, or I'm not right for it. Hmph!

I think I've reached some sort of tentative conclusion for now but I don't feel sure abhi tak. Anyways, I shall complete my four months, till December that is, and not take up the three-year ka training contract. Three year is too long a commitment. And anyways, I don't understand why am I even worrying about it when I hate my field in the first place. First of all, I won't work all my life. Pagal nahin hon mein. I shall not work after getting married. Let my husband-to-be be the bread winner of my family. *grins* And waysay bhi, I'm so not the 'out and about' kind. Sensitivity issues, you see. If I'm working right now then that's just because I want to experience things. It's just more out of curiousity, I assume, and not for the sake of career development.

Uhh.. I don't know I'm sound crazy again. We'll talk about this again sometime.

I want to go for a walk. A looooooooooooooong walk. A walk by the road side. Awaragardi.

It's getting late. I'm off to bed now. (Cannot allow my mind to diverge to further randomness, or nuisance, if you please).

'Night.