It makes me bleed

Watching you cripple like this. Watching you burn like this. Watching you drown like this. Watching you crumble like this. When I see the streaks of blood dripping down your face. When I see them stabbing you and ripping you into pieces. When I see you sewing your wounds again. When I see them tearing your freshly sewn wounds again. When I see you falling apart.

When I see myself looking at you. When I look around with hopeless hopes. When I find myself helpless- To heal you, to mend you, to wipe away those bloody tears, to extinguish the fire that burns you, to protect you- When I find myself powerless. When I discover that a paralysis has taken over me. When I discover that it will not let go off me.

When I see you crying out in agonizing pain. When I see myself staring at you with a misty vision. When I see you look at me with pleading eyes. When I see myself unable to alleviate your pain, your sorrows. When I see the plea in your eyes evolving into rage and despise. When I see myself turning my gaze away from you. And while I am turning my gaze away, I catch a glimpse of a smirk running across your lips. When I see my lips pursing against each other. When I see myself shutting my eyes tightly. When I turn my back towards you. When I feel your stare burning my back with abomination.

It makes me implode into a thousand little pieces- with helplessness, with pain, with sorrow, with shame.

Each splinter piercing deeper and deeper through my flesh, through my soul.

Until it makes me bleed.

(May Allah forgive those who died in the crash and may He provide those who mourn them with sabr-e-jameel. May their souls rest in peace- Ameen)