I am feeling very weird right now. I have not felt this way since a very very long time. I cannot recall when was the last time when I felt the same way. I am feeling sick. Yes, sick. I don't know what is wrong with me all of a sudden. I don't know what I want. I don't know so many things. I am having this khichri of thoughts being cooked in my head. Strange resonance. Long forgotten echoes. Different dialogues by different people are banging against the walls of head. I am not able to put in words what I am going through right now. I am failing to understand what is it that I want. I am failing to uphold myself. I am feeling open. Exposed. Vulnerable. I feel as if I have exposed myself to damages. I am feeling weak. A swarm of rebellious thoughts have broken into my mind for no reason, without any sort of stimulus. I am feeling insignificant. What am I? Who am I? Where is my place? I want to go away somewhere far far away from here. Some place where I will be away from all of you. So that I do not have to listen to your excuses, your reasons and your alibis for being away from me. So that I do not have to hear any of that. So that I do not have to force myself to believe in those alibis despite knowing how weak they are. I want to get lost in the vastness of this universe so that none of you can find me. So that I can never blame any of you for not understanding me. So that I have no one to complain. I am losing my mind, I think. I am failing to understand my own self so how is it that I so easily blame others for not understanding something that even I cannot comprehend at times. This is gibberish. I have waited the entire day for the match to start and now that nearly half the game has passed, I am still sitting here writing something that makes no sense to my own self. Sighs. I am just going to go now.