Friday, December 15, 2017

Bokeh

There are moments in a day when I eagerly want to just die. At times it seems to be the only way to jolt people around me up to stop taking me for granted. And the most sinister-ly apt too. Because death leaves the living with no second chances. Only regrets.

I feel hurt. So broken, that the pieces of my wreck collide with each other to cause more agony.

And there's nobody to ease it away.

I am aching in places I didn't know existed.

The pain is excruciating. It's obliterating my soul.

I sit in the pool of my own blood, still - but not dead.

I try, but I am unable to help myself. My bleeding body lies in a dump in a dark alley, and I scream for help in a voice so meek that even I cannot hear myself.

The few passers-by that crossed me could but lend me looks of disgust and disapproval.

I feel a streak of warm liquid streak out of my eyes blurring my sight. The lights at end of the alley blob up into a pretty bokeh.

It hurts so much.

I cannot hold the weight of my eyelids anymore, they collapse on me.

The last thought as darkness envelopes me - I'll never be good enough... no matter wh

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