Let me be that forgotten ornament lying in a neglected corner of the house. The one whose existence people don't notice anymore. The one nobody talks about. The ones that catch the eye of merely maid servants, every once a few days; who then pick up a duster to cursorily brush off any dust residues. Pray, let me be.
Mein bohat jaldi thaknay laggi hon ab. Chaar qadam chal ker he saans charh jaata hai.
I've become so volatile.
It's a bit too much, if you ask me. I've achieved the level where one starts to annoy one's own self.
One moment, all I crave for is solitude, while the next, it starts creeping me out. Kaheen jaanay ka dil nahin karta, aur ghar baith ker bezaari hoti hai.
Work was a get away. My dilemmas however, have started to envelope that too in dense clouds of grimness.
Only so much time left now.
'It's only a matter of time now'... someone told me. I have not looked away from the ticking hands of the clock ever since.
It's been a month now.
Lagta hai zamana guzar gaya.
Will I ever be happy again? Not that I want to be. No sir, not at all - mostly because it doesn't make a difference. It's just an objective question that I find myself asking the blank spaces around me often.
If there's something that I wish now, is to be indifferent. Not happy, (but!) nor miserable either. I want to live the rest of my life, as if riffling through the life of an independent third party. I wish not be expected anything of.
1 comment:
I guess you seek attention in close relations. And such people like to maintain few but sincere relations. Your hopelessness sound like Kashaf in Zindagi gulzar hai..but ur attention seeking in relation matches Zaroon :)
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